I have a bitchy resting face. I own it, I love it. I don't change my facial expressions a lot, I'm not known for being smiley, and on top of that I have a monotone deadpan voice. None of this is on purpose, it's just how I am. I laugh when I think something is funny, and I smile when something makes me smile, and I prefer not to put in extra effort outside of those occasions. My facial expression and tone of voice are rarely reflective of how I feel about something, so let me just say goddamn, I hate being told to smile.
Naturally, this was a challenge for me in the working world.
When I started my internship this summer -- in fact, before I started any internship -- everyone told me that I was expected to "smile and do what you're told and look happy about it." This is not to say that I think I'm above showing respect to my boss or anyone in a higher position than I am; I do believe it is important to treat people with at least basic manners. That being said, I see no correlation between my smiling and my ability to preform my job. After working in the office environment, I realized that there is none, because none of my male counterparts were ever told or expected to smile more. I'm just supposed to smile because "when women don't smile they look like bitches."
Here's the deal: Women should not be expected to smile at work any more than men should. I've been told that this is just the way the world works, but I'm calling bullshit on that. I'm gonna have to chalk this one up to misogyny. In fact, I believe that the professional world is still deeply rooted in misogyny. Smiling though, is just the surface of this issue. I have seen from women who I admire that no matter how far you rise in the work place, if you're not a ray of sunshine 24/7, you're a bitch. However when a man is tough or aggressive at work, they're just being the boss.
While this seems like such a small issue, if we can't move past it, then how can we move past the greater issues of inequality that are present in the professional world? Most people don't smile every second of the day, get over it. I refuse to have something so trivial be expected of me that will not be expected of my male counterparts just because I am a woman and it's intimidating. While I still intend on showing kindness and respect to those I work for, I do not intend on focusing my energy on something that would not be noticed on a man. I am more than willing to do my job to the best of my ability and always give my full effort and demonstrate a positive attitude, as I believe any employee should. What I'm not willing to do is participate in a behavior that is only expected of women because I am a woman.
