Something happened along the way that made you feel as though this is your only option; that feeling soft and vulnerable is wrong. I don't know your story that brought you here, but you do. You know the moment that broke you and made you build up your walls and tough exterior.
Feeling invincible is great in the face of things. But, at the end of the day, your mind becomes cluttered easily, your heart is heavy, and you've grown to dread this; because crying is your weakest moment. When you get home and you're alone with yourself and all of the things you've been running from, it's easy to believe that throwing yourself beneath the covers and shutting the blinds is the only place you're truly safe to feel. Those are the days you scream into your pillow. The moments of weakness you dread, but undoubtedly long for... The feeling of relief that comes after the flow of emotion.
I am this girl. I do run from feeling. From connecting. From being vulnerable. I bottle it all within until the last moment of the day when I'm finally alone where I feel it's safe to let out.
IT'S OKAY TO BREAK DOWN. IT'S OKAY TO FEEL. IT'S OKAY TO BE VULNERABLE.
I'm learning this.
Being strong for everyone around us is admirable. But it does not make us weak to need our friends to be here for us. It is not wrong to go from being strong and courageous to being the one that needs to break down in the arms of someone.
I know, it hurts.
You've let someone in and they let you down, left you, broke your heart, or were gone when you needed them the most... Maybe you promised you would never let that happen again. But you already know that you have the capability to pick yourself up, dust yourself off, and move on.
Let me tell you what you're missing by keeping this wall up: you're missing meaningful relationships, true friendships. You're allowing a past experience to steal future experiences and no one deserves to take that. You'll wake up one day and realize no one really knows all of the things that make you who you are, and you'll feel lonely.
Drop the tough girl act, we're going to be okay.
