It's been a while, hey there.

I guess I should start by saying that I miss you, and I miss what we used to be. A friend that I could have completely truthful and open conversations with, and feel that there was zero judgment. I miss that. Be it a friendship that ended a few months ago or a few years ago, I miss you.

There are a million memories, photos and videos commemorating the times that we had together, and while it may hurt to know they won't happen again, I don't regret any of it. You were someone that I trusted and loved and that means something. I can't post anything without seeming malicious or like I have ulterior reasoning other than reminiscing, but trust me when I say that I want to. In that moment we were happy, and that's all that matters.

Right now things are a little weird. Nothing has been said and we just drifted. I have complete monologues I could say to you, but they would do no good in the long run. We drifted for a reason, whether we agree on what it was or have any clue what it is. I never expected that you wouldn't be a constant part of my life and that there would be a time that we weren't attached at the hip.

I miss the horrifying pictures we'd send each other of ourselves, and how we knew everything about each other and could tell an emotion without any words having to be said. I don't get close to people like that often, you've definitely left a hole. You were my "person."

I hate that your face has become one to avoid, even hide from. It's unfair and makes me sick. Seeing you used to make me feel like I was safe and around someone that knew me better than I knew myself. I hate that I can't call you anymore when there's big news or when I just want to talk, as selfish as it sounds.

It terrifies me that you don't think about all of this, me, or how things used to be. If you don't, that would mean that none of it mattered to you and that kind of friendship is replaceable to you.

It's not worth it now, to worry about who was to blame or what went wrong. It happened and it's in the past. All that there's left to do is move forward, I guess.

I still support you, though. I hope for only the best for you and I hope that your future will hold all of the great things you had wanted. You had high hopes for your life, and all I can do is cheer for you from the sidelines when you achieve your goals and feel for you when you fall. I can also hope that, one day when we're both older and wiser, we'll pass each other and not stare at the ground and rush past. We will stop, like adults and say hello. Maybe we'll even reminisce about the past and make plans for lunch.

Until then, thank you for everything you gave me. I wouldn't give any of it back.