Drake, Now That You're 30... | The Odyssey Online
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Drake, Now That You're 30...

I’ve decided to suggest some new, more age appropriate, song titles.

Elizabeth Schorr
Nov 01, 2016
Florida State University
67
Drake, Now That You're 30...
GQ

Happy (belated) birthday to the man who’s done it all. Drake, legally known as Aubrey Drake Graham, is a man of many talents. First off, he flawlessly portrayed Jimmy, a teen in a wheelchair, for almost 7 years on "Degrassi: The Next Generation." He then transformed his career and threw himself into the rap game. He is known for his songs that will make you think about texting your ex or ones that empower us to rise from the bottom. Well, it’s crazy to say but Drake is now 30 YEARS OLD! WHO WOULD’VE THOUGHT!! And even though his music is genius, I’ve decided to suggest some new, more age appropriate, song titles. Drake- I hope you’re reading.

1. 9 (AM)

Drake, you are now 30 years old. It’s time to ditch the late night clubbing and get your full 8 hours of sleep. Leave the club appearances and bottle poppin’ to the kids.

Suggested Lyric to the tune of his original song 9: Alarm go rang rang, bed time’s my favorite thing (It’s not plagarsim if you’re somewhat copying yourself!)

2. Bills Bills Bills (Remix)

Obviously it is hard to copy the highly acclaimed Destiny’s Child classic (click here to check it out), but I think good old Drake can conquer the challenge. Instead of the topic of a man mooching off his woman, Drake can just go on a rant about how awful it must be that he has to pay all these bills. A mortgage, water bills, even the good old medical bill to replace a broken hip; Drake can write about it all.

3. A Night In

Drake is popular for his love ballads. Personally, a song talking about a night in watching CSI or some other NBC primetime show, cuddling up with his “bae” (RIP Drihanna), would make for the perfect song. Nothing is better than a song that will shed a few tears- especially one written by the King of Rap.

4. Wifey

Instead of getting us missing our ex, Drake should write a nice song about settling down. I mean who wouldn’t want to get married to a softie like Drake? (RIP Drihanna part 2). Instead of facing heartbreak, Drake can get a happy ending loving a girl who loves him too.

Listen, Drake is a grown man now, and I don’t want to write his WHOLE album for him. Drake, I hope you will take some of my suggestions into consideration, as I am just looking to help. Anyways, happy birthday Drake! Age is just a number so you keep doing you (but I still suggest getting your full eight hours, you need your beauty sleep).

Love,

A Fan

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