As a nursing students, we are taught to be educators. We are taught to teach our patients how to adjust when their lives have been changed forever and we are expected to teach them in ways they understand. We do can only do this by building a special relationship with each patient and sometimes, when we build this relationship with our whole hearts, a phenomenon occurs and we, rather than our patients, are the ones to learn. In the time I have spent in nursing school, my patients have taught me more than I could possibly keep track of and more than I could ever thank them for. Here are 12 of those lessons, which I will carry with me forever.
- It is equally as important to love the people who don’t appreciate you, as it is to love the people who do. Sometimes you are all they have and that is as discouraging to them as providing care for them might seem for you at times. If you don’t understand what you have done to upset them, it is likely that it was nothing you did. Life has hurt them and they don’t have the means to express it any other way.
- “If you are healthy, you are wealthy." This is a direct quote from one of my patients and it goes without saying, yet somehow we so easily forget how much we have when we have health. We forget that our bodies take care of us and let us do everything we want to do each day. We forget to think about the fact that we can walk and talk and eat without pain. We forget that we are resilient – that even when we feel sick, we can bank on recovery coming in time. We can look forward to the cessation of pain, while so many cannot.
- Family is better than no family. People are better than no people. Even when family members seem to be doing the exact opposite of anything remotely helpful, we have to remember that they are our people and that they really only want what is best for us. This includes the family we choose for ourselves. We do not have to like them all the time, but it is important to treasure them because they are a blessing the old man the next room over no longer has.
- Sometimes people don’t have the strength to pick themselves up. And that’s okay. It is easy to become frustrated with them, but they are probably even more frustrated with themselves. Help them up until they can carry themselves again.
- Not everyone will like everything about you. They may not like what you do and they might think about things in a completely different way. You may disagree with everything they have to say, but as their nurse, you get to see them from a special perspective. You get to see what they are made of from head to toe, all the way down to their labs and you will see that they are made of the same things you are, despite all of these differences. You will realize you have more in common with them than surface value lets on.
- People know you about as well as you know them when you first walk into the room—minimally. But it is worth getting to know them. They all have a story and it is seldom a dull one. Your patient may not know that you have been up working all night, but you may not know that they have also been up contemplating a revision on their code status.
- Life is not fair. It does not deal you the cards you deserve. Sometimes even the kindest of people are dealt the most disgraceful of hands. But with positivity and a little humor, it is fightable. Refuse to succumb to whatever it is that taints your spirits. Not only will it help to carry you through— it will touch the lives of everyone around you as well.
- Never underestimate the power of humor. Even while confined to a bed, many people are alert enough to enjoy a sense of humor. They joke around and try to lift not only themselves, but you as well. Encourage these moments and support the healing laughter can perform all on its own.
- Not everyone is ready for bad news. Reality can be scary. Be attentive to them. Be heartfelt and sincere when you deliver news. Help them grieve when it is painful. Do not rush their acceptance of the truth, but be there to talk them through it and soothe their fears when needed. Care for them holistically.
- Anything can happen at any time. It usually happens when you least expect it. Embrace the unexpected. Learn from it. Plans change, so be adaptable. Versatility is everything—we can use as much practice as we can get in preparing for the unpreparable.
- Things could be worse. Things could always be worse. Remind yourself everyday. Recognize when others don’t have the luxuries you do and use these moments to count the blessings that float under the bridge most of the day.
- Hold a stranger’s hand some time. It may seem invasive, awkward, weird, or any number of other negative things upon thinking about it, but the truth is that they will probably be grateful for it and it will change your life forever. There is a nearly tangible gap that bridges when two hands meet. There is no other way to fill a space like this and you will feel both trusted and trustworthy. You will also be mortified to breach that trust, but it not a bad kind of terror and you will know, in that moment, that you are being a good nurse.
