The Double Digit Double Standard

The Double Digit Double Standard

There has always been a double standard in society against women. It is seen in a lot of aspects of life but no area of life is more victim to this double standard than sex.

I am currently taking a human sexuality class, the most registered for class at the University of Maryland and a class I’ve been dying to get into since I learned about it freshman year. Recently in my class, my professor divided the room by gender and we were allowed to ask the opposite gender anything we wanted; no topic was off limits.      

People asked questions ranging from one-night stands and booty calls to some more out-there topics that garnered a few giggles and blushed cheeks. Finally, one young lady brought up the “number” issue. How important is the number of people a girl or guy has slept with?   Some male students said, “Ignorance is bliss,” and that they wouldn’t ask because, “You don’t want to know mine and I don’t want to know yours.”   

Others said that it doesn’t matter as long as you are being safe and using protection. Others said it did matter to them and they would want to know. Then, feeling my feminist side coming out, I asked, “So what would be your ideal number?” To this, a young male student responded, “If I’m trying to date you, single digits.”

Safe to say my feminist side came out in full force and was annoyed. Earlier in the class, the topic of having sex without emotion came up. A female student asked why guys feel the need to lie about their feelings in order to have sex with some girls because they think women can’t separate emotion from sex. Many women raised their hands and stated that they could separate these two things and guys shouldn’t think that women are all emotional, hormonal crazy people who instantly fall in love with any guy they sleep with.   

So my question was, “So you want us to be able to have sex without emotion but we can’t sleep with more than nine people?” According to the Kinsey Institute and California State University the national average age a woman loses her virginity is 17.4 years. The national average for men is 16.9 years. However, what if a woman doesn’t seriously date someone until she is 22, 23, 24 or 25?   

That is five to eight years of being sexually active, yet some men expect women to only sleep with nine men? That’s an average of about 1-2 men per year, something any single sexually active person can easily surpass, and surpassing this number does not make a woman a slut.    

In some men’s eyes, women need to be innocent – not having a lot of sexual partners – yet they need to be good and experienced in bed. However, on the other hand, the more women a man sleeps with the cooler he is.   

Sounds like a pretty big double standard to me.   

Tracey Cox, a nationally renowned sex expert conducted a study a few years ago where she asked three women around the age of 30 how many sexual partners they had. Woman 1 had slept with 26 men, woman 2 had slept with eight and woman 3 had slept with four.   

However, each had her own story; the woman who had 26 partners averaged around two a year since she was 17 and been mainly single.  

The woman who had eight slept with four during a weekend vacation, while her then-husband stayed home and looked after the kids.   

The woman who had four had a threesome in an alley with two guys she met in a club; she was 18.   

Does your opinion change now?   

There is no way to know the story behind the number of men women have slept with, whether it be two or 22, so isn’t it about time that we stop judging women for their number and measuring their worth in their amount (or lack thereof) of sexual partners? The next time a guy asks you for your number, simply tell him you don’t kiss and tell. 

Cover Image Credit: Total Frat Move

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An Open Letter to the Person Who Still Uses the "R Word"

Your negative associations are slowly poisoning the true meaning of an incredibly beautiful, exclusive word.

What do you mean you didn't “mean it like that?" You said it.

People don't say things just for the hell of it. It has one definition. Merriam-Webster defines it as, "To be less advanced in mental, physical or social development than is usual for one's age."

So, when you were “retarded drunk" this past weekend, as you claim, were you diagnosed with a physical or mental disability?

When you called your friend “retarded," did you realize that you were actually falsely labeling them as handicapped?

Don't correct yourself with words like “stupid," “dumb," or “ignorant." when I call you out. Sharpen your vocabulary a little more and broaden your horizons, because I promise you that if people with disabilities could banish that word forever, they would.

Especially when people associate it with drunks, bad decisions, idiotic statements, their enemies and other meaningless issues. Oh trust me, they are way more than that.

I'm not quite sure if you have had your eyes opened as to what a disabled person is capable of, but let me go ahead and lay it out there for you. My best friend has Down Syndrome, and when I tell people that their initial reaction is, “Oh that is so nice of you! You are so selfless to hang out with her."

Well, thanks for the compliment, but she is a person. A living, breathing, normal girl who has feelings, friends, thousands of abilities, knowledge, and compassion out the wazoo.

She listens better than anyone I know, she gets more excited to see me than anyone I know, and she works harder at her hobbies, school, work, and sports than anyone I know. She attends a private school, is a member of the swim team, has won multiple events in the Special Olympics, is in the school choir, and could quite possibly be the most popular girl at her school!

So yes, I would love to take your compliment, but please realize that most people who are labeled as “disabled" are actually more “able" than normal people. I hang out with her because she is one of the people who has so effortlessly taught me simplicity, gratitude, strength, faith, passion, love, genuine happiness and so much more.

Speaking for the people who cannot defend themselves: choose a new word.

The trend has gone out of style, just like smoking cigarettes or not wearing your seat belt. It is poisonous, it is ignorant, and it is low class.

As I explained above, most people with disabilities are actually more capable than a normal human because of their advantageous ways of making peoples' days and unknowingly changing lives. Hang out with a handicapped person, even if it is just for a day. I can one hundred percent guarantee you will bite your tongue next time you go to use the term out of context.

Hopefully you at least think of my friend, who in my book is a hero, a champion and an overcomer. Don't use the “R Word". You are way too good for that. Stand up and correct someone today.

Cover Image Credit: Kaitlin Murray

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News Flash: 'Building The Wall' Is Still A Dumb Idea And Always Will Be

The government is still partially shutdown because of funding for the wall. Really?


A man who is a strong supporter of building the wall told me this metaphor: If you don't want the wrong people walking into your backyard, you put a fence up. We don't want the wrong people coming to America, so we put a wall up. I respect people's political beliefs, and because of this, I want to share mine.

I believe that President Trump demanding money to build a border wall is dumb.

It's hard to believe so many people really think that this "build a wall" has everything to do about border security. It's just inhumane and wrong.

Literally, the most notorious drug lord of Mexico has shed light about how he smuggles the drug into the U.S. They have brought it through fishing boats, trucks going through the legal point of entry, underground tunnel, but not through unwalled parts. The half of million pounds of narcotics that were secured at the border? They were all al legal points of entry.

I'm saying this because I am a proud daughter of immigrants who crossed the border. The media has portrayed immigrants as these horrible people infiltrating our country. They just want somewhere safe to live to raise their kid.

The conditions of Latin American countries are inexplicable. Communist have risen from the ashes dominating these countries letting people rot on the street starving. There are little to no job opportunities. I haven't seen my family in three years because it is dangerous to go.

The media doesn't tell you this. They don't tell you how many people have gone to the border and returned to Mexico because ICE agents tear gas them.

They tell you that they throw babies over fences to distract border patrol agents. They tell you children are dying because of malnutrition of trekking thousands of miles to get the border. They don't tell you that those same children have been eating unmonitored food with thousands of microorganism some mal some good.

Not all immigrants are not bad people. The notions that all immigrants are criminals is "fake news." It has been a hook, line, and sinker for the Republican Party. There are studies such as one from the journal Criminology showing that places with high undocumented immigrant population does not equal high crime.

Should undocumented citizens attempt to become legal residents of the United States? Absolutely, and that is a problem if they are evading taxes and other legal notions with more consequences.

However, we should not lie to ourselves and act as a wall is to help border security against drugs and crime. It's just a physical quota like 1920s immigration laws. There is a better solution then sacrificing 5.7 billion dollars. Let me translate that: 5,700,000,000 dollars. That is our taxes. As a college student, I rather have those 5.7 billion dollars be translated to scholarship, grants, financial aid, and helping us, the future of this country become the best people we can be. Why build a wall when the future of America, who I personally think is more important can be helped.

I don't come from a rich family, and I don't have the means to afford a college education without loans, so when I hear that the Government can afford to give 5.7 billion dollars for a wall, I have the right to be upset. Tell me I'm wrong, and call me dumb, but this is my unpopular opinion.


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