The Dos and Donts of Trying to Get a College Relationship
My first week at college, I saw more hickeys caking the necks of innocent college kids looking for fun. It was as if we had never been around attractive people without our parents nearby, the freshmen were like a bunch of rabbits in mating season. Then after the sloppy hookups occurred and gossip spurred, it was as if everyone found the loves of their life. But that lasted all of 24 hours. Who could get with the most people? Who could find their first college relationship fastest? Eventually the fascination with complete freedom will die down and real relationships will start to form. Here’s some advice for those who really want to know how a girl likes to be treated, how to win over the college girl:
- Girls are nice. They like to smile and laugh. Just because she is kind, does not mean she likes you. Don’t mistake her kindness for flirting. Don’t think just because she is sincere means she wants you.
- Just because you invite a girl to a party does not mean she is your ‘piece’ for the night. Just because you are nice to her, does not mean she owes you anything. Don’t expect anything from her, your niceness does not mean you get laid.
- Have confidence. Don’t be needy or insecure. There is a difference between getting to know someone, increasing the depth of your relationship by expressing your insecurities and letting your insecurities define you. Confidence, without being cocky, provides a sense of safety and security. Own your positives and negatives, it's one of the most attractive qualities about a man.
- Respect her. See her as she wants to be seen. Just because she is a woman does not mean she needs special treatment or can’t handle herself. Just because she is a girl does not mean she isn’t just as capable as you. Respect her values, her boundaries, who she is and what she wants.
- Compliment her. But don’t over do it. Notice when she does her hair a little differently, or how beautiful she looks without trying. Don’t constantly tell her how hot she is or how amazing she is, make her compliments unique, genuine, and personal to who she really is.
- Understand one thing: just because you’re a male and she is a female, because you have a penis and she has a vagina, does not mean you can’t be just friends. Just because you are opposite genders does not mean she is looking for something. I am a woman and my best friend is a man, there is nothing different between same sex best friends and opposite sex best friends. Friendship, a foundation of genuine bonds, is a way better starting point than you sexually minded males might think.
- Don’t take advantage of her vulnerability. If she starts to open up, let her. If she is putting her trust in you, don’t mistake her trust for her sexual desires. The two do not go hand in hand all the time.
- Don’t overthink it. Girls are always said to be the overthinkers, and we certainly do our fair share, but guys overthink it too. Have fun, let go and let things form how they are supposed too.
- Be you. Be 100% true to who you are, don’t try to be cool or popular or something you’re not. Be as quirky as you are, as introverted as you are, as personable as you are. Be fearless and be brave. Put yourself out there, understanding and respecting her if she shuts you down. Maintain that friendship and bond even if she refuses to kiss you. Lots of times there is more to be had from locking minds than locking lips.
