As I wrap up my first whole year in the dorms, I have noticed many things. As I also wrap up the 5^th season of Portlandia, it seems as if these two topics have some very relatable moments. Dorm life isn’t always the best, but going into freshman year, chances are it is where you’ll end up. Bouncing between rooms, and different floors within the same building, my interactions with different RA’s and roommates has been… interesting to say the least. Here is dorm life as explained through Portlandia.

1. When your Greek friends start fall recruitment, have bid day, formals, GADs, fam nights, and philanthropy events you have to live vicariously through social media. Ohhhh the life of a GDI.

2. When you’re trying to sleep or study during quiet hours and people in the hallways and surrounding rooms decide to be as loud as possible. Like seriously… it’s 1 a.m. on a Wednesday, you can play League of Legends tomorrow.

3. So you see a new person in the laundry room or elevator, and introduce yourself. Fifteen minutes later, you are listening to them tell you every detail about their personal life, goals, and current classes. I did not sign up to be a personal therapist for a stranger, last time I try to take my mom’s advice on making friends.

4. Six shots in and four frats later, the walk back to the dorms can be a torturous one. I know I’ve been in this position more times than I can count… I’ll leave it at that.

5. However… This was you three hours earlier when you and your roomie decided to go frat hopping on Greek Row.

6. Being sexiled from your room, and forgetting your phone charger makes you want to barge in and shout at your roomie. Please, can you go to his place for once?!

7. When you genuinely hate cleaning and your roommate insists it’s your turn for vacuuming and taking out trash… No thanks.

8. Planning a bomb dorm night party, only to hear a knock on the door 30 minutes in. Must be the RA. HIDE ALL ALCOHOL AND HUMANS, I REPEAT HIDE ALL ALCOHOL AND HUMANS.

9. You have no homework, and are dying to go out, and your roommates decide to tell you that they are staying in. English 131? Chem 152? Trust me, they’re not necessary, partying is.

10. When you have been thinking about having cereal all day to come back to your dorm, check your mini fridge and see your roommate drank your milk. SERIOUSLY. Mi casa no es su casa!!!!!!

11. Skipping your 9:30 class to watch just one show on Netflix… okay maybe two.

12. Clearly somebody doesn’t know how to use a microwave. I don’t need a fire alarm to go off every other week in the middle of the night because of other residents’ lack of knowledge on putting tin foil into a microwave.

13. When you overhear your roommates conversation on the phone with her BFF from home. They are both gossiping about their “hard” classes and latest hookups. For the sake of my ears, please go somewhere else.

14. When you are trying to console your roommate even though you hardly know her… or leaving the room for a few hours works also.