I was attending a worship night at my school a few weeks ago when we were focusing on 1 John 4. We broke up into groups to discuss it and my group focused on verse 18, which reads "there is no fear in love, but perfect love casts out fear." One of my peers briefly commented on how if our community was going to be full of love, then fear had no place.
The conversation quickly followed other paths, but I was so convicted by this one sentence she spoke that I couldn't stop thinking about it.
I love my school, and I love the people that I go to school with. We place a real focus on our sense of community, and as long as I've been her the genuine community I've found myself in has been my favorite part of college.
But it still hasn't been as good as it can be.
If I want to be in an authentic, love-filled community, I need to stop being afraid.
I need to stop sitting quietly in class, too scared to open my mouth and contribute for fear of saying something everyone else thinks is stupid.
I need to stop walking away from social interactions with a sinking feeling in my stomach because I'm worried the people I was with might have been judging me for some unknown reason.
I need to stop glancing in every mirror I pass, afraid that some new flaw has developed since the last time I checked.
Now do these things consume my life? No, not at all. There are certainly real people out there with real social anxiety that have to fight much stronger fears than I do.
Actually, I wouldn't even call myself an insecure person. I cling tightly to the truth that my worth is found in Christ's love and sacrifice for me, not from anything I can do or achieve in my lifetime. I know, intellectually, that most times other people aren't even aware of the flaws I see in myself, let alone are they judging me for them.
But I still spend too much time afraid that they might be. And I'm willing to bet that other people do too.
If I want to allow myself to be loved authentically by the others in my community, I need to put away my fear. Likewise, if I want to love those in my community authentically, I need to be a place of comfort for them, not fear.
Normally in this part of my articles I try and offer some solutions or tips for managing the problem I've identified. But I've got to say, even after these past few weeks of pondering it, I haven't really found any way to make the fear go away, besides just choosing to be aware of it, and then ignore and move past it when I find it is hindering my ability to contribute to my community.
But maybe you have some ideas. Have you ever found yourself afraid in a way that hurts your ability to be a part of a genuine, thriving community? What can we do to move past it, and perfect our love so that it casts out fear?
