"There is no right or wrong way to grieve. Bawl until your eyes are red or laugh like a madman in the rain. Gorge yourself on fatty foods or take some quiet time away. Whatever it takes to help you cope with the loss, heal the wound, and lead you back to a lighter and less volatile space." - Beau Taplin
It was not until recently that I discovered how big this issue is. Every time something goes wrong, or someone is upset, people feel like it is up to them to make you feel better. Too many times people feel like it is their responsibility, their purpose, to pull you up from the depths of your gloominess, all by themselves. There are several problems with the way of going about things like this.
Hopefully what I am about to tell you is not new, but life is not perfect. Things go wrong, and quite frankly, that is perfectly OK. You know why? Because that is the way of the world. You have a right to be angry with this because it is not very encouraging. You can be upset at God or whatever higher power you believe put this world into motion. The bottom line is you cannot dwell on what you have absolutely no control over whatsoever. That would just be a waste of your precious time.
So what can we control? We can control what happens next, how we handle situations when life is not perfect.
There is no right way to grieve, and I CANNOT stress this enough to you! The whole process of grieving is so important and essential to our well being. If you overlook the importance of this you would just be hurting yourself. Skipping this process no matter how big or small the event might just lead you to get stuck in a feeling of numbness, resentment or simply emptiness.
Different things work for different people, but the stigma behind grieve being bad needs to end. If you fail a test, get a flat tire on the way to an interview, get lost in the middle of nowhere, THAT SUCKS! You have the right to say that. You have the power to admit it to the world.
More than this, people have a right to admit it to you. It can be so much more reassuring for someone to admit that the recognize your pain than for them to jump right into trying to take it away from you. When nothing seems to be going my way, the best thing is for someone to just give me a hug and tell me it sucks right now.
Life is forever changing and because of this, nothing will stay the same. You might have a long period of struggling and depression, but it is literally impossible for that to continue on forever. Take some time for yourself to wallow in your sorrows, eventually, you will begin to heal. In fact, after a tragedy and with the right amount of healing, you will come through stronger and wise than before.
Everything will be perfect in the end and it will work out. So if it is not perfect now, then it is not the end.