For as long as I can remember, girls I know have always said they "need" a boyfriend. But a boyfriend will not solve any internal problems. A boyfriend can tell you how beautiful you are a million times, but unless you think so yourself, you will never believe him.
I, just like the majority of girls, have felt very insecure multiple times in my life. I felt like I need to look and act a certain way to feel accepted. I remember sitting in my desk in first grade, thinking my thighs were too big. I would look around the room comparing my thighs with everyone else’s. That was the first time I remember critiquing myself. I thought it would all go away in college, but the feeling followed me. Even after I started dating my boyfriend, I still feel insecure from time to time.
I remember being the girl who just wanted a boyfriend. I thought he would fix all of my problems. But my boyfriend is his own person. He doesn’t have the ability to shut off how my brain thinks, even though he does help build me up a lot. My insecurities will go away, once I choose to put them behind me. A relationship won’t suddenly erase built up self-doubt. Don’t focus on when or how badly you want a relationship like it will fix all of your problems, because a relationship is more than that.
It’s true, when people say you have to love yourself before you love anyone. If not, you will constantly doubt yourself and anything good that comes into your life. Loving yourself, doesn’t mean you will be as confident as Beyonce. It means that you will accept any “flaws” you have about yourself. You will also be able to start naming more things you like about yourself, instead of always thinking you have nothing good to offer. Because if you get in a relationship not knowing your worth, you won’t take all you deserve.
A boyfriend won’t make you feel more pretty. A boyfriend isn’t for never-ending compliments. A boyfriend makes you feel comfort at all times. He’s your best friend. It isn’t something that can be forced, just like loving yourself. It comes naturally with time, and it shouldn’t be rushed. Don’t have the mentality that you’ll date any guy, just to have a boyfriend. It won’t always work out. Date a guy, because you feel special around him and you absolutely have to see where it goes. Don’t try and force love, I promise with the right person it comes naturally and easily. Focus on yourself and your insecurities. I know it is hard to believe, but you aren’t nearly as bad as you may think. Love yourself for who you are, and that’s when you’ll start to feel pretty.
