You know what they say, men are dogs… well, if that is the case, why don’t I just actually get a dog. Dogs are loyal, dependable, and great listeners, unlike most guys. I am not trying to make total generalizations, but I am trying to emphasize the advantages of owning a dog since they tend to be less disappointing. Now that I am a senior in college, I am tired of the dating scene. Pretending to like cheap beer, watching boring sport matches and putting up with the late night texts that never grow into anything more than a booty call, I figured I was barking up the wrong tree. Luckily, I discovered the most ingenious app ever created. BarkBuddy, which is basically a Tinder for dogs, allows app users to swipe left or right to indicate interest in specific dogs. Dating apps have now been rendered useless! This feat in technology opened my eyes to what us ladies really need in a man, and it is the fact that we don't need a man. We just need a dog. Here is why with the help of some amazing gifs:
- Not only do dogs want to hang out with you before 10 p.m., they want to hang out with you all the time. Stage five clinging is totally acceptable with a furry companion.
- Sure, you can’t Snapchat with your dog, but you can Snapchat photos of your dog continuously, without any repercussions. We all hate those couples that Snapchat their undying love for each other while us single people sit on the couch violently eating Flaming Hot Cheetos, but Snapchatting your romance with your dog is always socially acceptable.
- A dog will cuddle you all night. The Center for Sleep Medicine conducted a study that concluded that pet owners who sleep with their pets actually sleep better at night!
- Dogs never laugh at how you throw a ball. In fact, they will overcome the greatest obstacles to return it to you because they love you that much.
- He will watch "The Bachelor" and/or "The Bachelorette" with you without complaining that he hates it when he secretly likes it.
- Having a dog reduces stress and boosts your immune system, while having a boyfriend increases stress and slowly kills you... I am only slightly joking.
- You don't have to watch your dog play video games for four hours
- Dogs aren't going to act annoyed and uncomfortable when you bring them to meet your friends or family.
- Instead of making you cry, they make you smile! They also can tell when you are upset and try to comfort you. No more passively aggressive sent "K's" to illustrate your anger. Just say "Bad dog!"
- Dogs are in it for the long-term. No more one night stands. No more flavors of the month. That dog is with you till literal death.
Realistically, most of us don't have the time or money for the responsibility of a dog, but don't lose all hope! Volunteering with your local shelter, such as the Humane Society of Utah or Best Friends Utah, gives back to your community while also providing quality time with some doggies. You can even rent a puppy when times get really ruff. You can never have too many dog puns in one article. Anyways, be sure to ditch your date you had planned for next Friday with the guy who's idea of romance is letting you win at beer pong and instead spend some time with a well deserving dog who only expects a game of fetch and a belly rub on the first date.
