I went to dinner last night with my partner. We do this often, because cooking dinner sucks and food is da best. When venturing out into the public world ever, I am certain I will see my fellow citizens on their phones. Especially when I go out to dinner, you notice couples or families who are paying money to be served yummy food and...what? Stare at your tiny electronic soul-sucking, family-time-eating device?

Here is the thing: I do this too. All the time. It is a habit. But why?

I find myself being self-conscience about my cell phone use when I am out to dinner. I think "I am on my phone I bet I look like one of those people who sits on their phone all the time while they are at dinner". Now, when I think about it, this thought reflects more on me, and my judgments, then what I imagine anyone else is thinking. I created this judgement in my head, project it on other people I have never met, but also on myself. So that makes sense...I should make my life harder. Good plan, Sarah. Keep that up...

Sometimes I make myself sit alone when my dining companions visit the facilities. I make sure I just am. I am experiencing this public, lonely, solitary moment. Others, I just get of Facebook.

So I want to know, what makes me habitually reach for social media? Am I bored? I don't honestly think I care that much what the people of Facebook are doing. Do I want to be entertained? Distracted? Am I trying to avoid my own thoughts that are trying to creep into my evening, artificial, stress-free, work-free zone?

Maybe I will just carry a book around, or crayons and a blank notebook. If I apparently have so much down time, why don't I do something creative and productive, instead of numbing and distracting. I don't really like Facebook that much. So here's to hoping I find an alternative.