I like to tell myself and sometimes others that I really do have my life together. I like to think that, but it's really hard to believe it some days. The days where my room is a mess, my laundry basket is over flowing, my homework isn't done, my car is almost out of gas and is starts to smell like fast food...we all know those days. Days like those I find myself trying to tackle the idea of my future. Is this what my life has come to? Is this what my future will look like? Of course not, I mean (hopefully) I will graduate college (in under five years) and won't live in a dorm room forever.
But, will this season of my life look like the others that are coming up? I struggle with the fact that I don't know where life is taking me. I don't know where I will be in ten years. I mean that's typical for a college freshman, but what will happen when I'm a junior? Senior? I find it hard to remain calm when people ask me about my future. Who will be in it? What will I be doing? Will I still be following God as passionatley and as bold as I strive to do now? I constantly pray for the day that I will stop worrying about my future and strictly focus on who is in control of that future, which is God.
I've gotten to the point where I realized that I just need to give it all to Him. I trust Him and His plans. I need to stop worrying. Matthew 6:25-26 says, "Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothes. Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they?"
The birds. If our Father can take care of the birds, He can take care of us.
I know there are hard days where my future is completely out of sight. I struggle to go to class, I don't want to study, I wonder if this whole college thing is even worth it (it is). But on those days I find it much easier to read and apply truth to my life. It's comforting. It reminds me that I do not have to worry about what is coming, that I can trust God because He takes care of the birds, so He will take care of me. I can be confident about my tomorrows and not live with fear of the future. I still don't know where life is taking me, but, I do know I am trusting it in the hands of a good, good Father.
"Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own." Matthew 6:34.
