Love keeps no record of wrongs.
When we're in a relationship with someone, one of the easiest ways to ruin it is by holding grudges and bringing up things that happened in the past. Those situations should be forgiven and released if you're in a healthy relationship.
Our generation gets caught up in this "game" that was somehow created to pretty much destroy today's relationships and some people's view on what love is like all together.
In this game, there has to be a winner and a clear loser. I have always envisioned it as a marathon. I don't really see the finish line, but as long as I am "ahead" of my opponent, then I'm in the winning position.
Your opponent is your partner. The race has no ending except for most likely an unfortunate break up. To "win" means you have to hold all the cards in your hand. You have to have full knowledge and whatever they do, you have to one-up it.
Love keeps no record of wrongs.
Just typing that out helps me realize again how idiotic it all is. That was not the way that love was intended to be. Your partner should be exactly that - a partner. They should be your biggest fan and supporter, and they should want you to achieve your goals while working your hardest. And that is exactly what you should be for them as well.
If you're worried about "winning" than you truly are just losing.
The fight is to make sure you are the one that will be the least hurt in the end. Maybe if you took time to fight for the relationship and not against, it there wouldn't be a daunting fear that it will end.
"To love at all is to be vulnerable…" A quote from C.S. Lewis that I learned when I was in 10th grade. It's well written, and it took me time to fully understand the meaning of what he was talking about. But it's true. It goes on to say if you don't want to be vulnerable then do not love anything - not even an animal. Stay safe in "the casket or coffin of your selfishness".
You'll become unbreakable, impenetrable…..but also irredeemable.
Love keeps no record of wrongs.
In order to maintain your own mental health, to make appropriate choices that you won't regret later on and to keep a strong, steady, happy relationship with the person you love then you are going to have to become vulnerable. Trust that they will do the same. Trust that you're with someone who respects you and your relationship the same way that you do.
Forget the game. Forget winning or getting ahead. Focus on forgiveness and loving your partner. A lesson throughout life that you'll learn over and over is that people are flawed. If something happens that can be worked through, do that and forgive them and move on. If you bring it up later, you never moved on.
Focus on the mutual goal to be happy and create a successful relationship that both people involved benefit positively from. If that happens, everyone wins.
A start is to forgive. Keep no records. Keep no score. Love is not a selfish game. Forgiveness isn't always felt. It's a choice and one that's worth sticking by.
