Your friends probably use this to use this saying against you when they find you’re being judgmental. It’s a rule that we were taught to obey, along with "Treat others how you want to be treated", yet we hardly do that.
She’s white, she must love Starbucks. He’s fat but has friends, he must be really funny. You’re Asian, you must be good at math.
Even if they are positive statements, like suggesting someone is good at math, it is still a perceived notion of someone you know nothing about. Just because someone looks a certain way, doesn’t mean they are how you think they are. Usually, they're far from it.
I always shock people when I say I’m Muslim because I’m white. It’s so funny how many white stereotypes people apply to me. Meanwhile, I celebrate Ramadan and have never eaten pork before, except for that one time by accidentally in third grade. They didn’t tell me that sausage was in the stuffing until after.
My skin is fair, but I don’t identify myself as white because I don’t like Starbucks. Just kidding. I don’t identify myself as white because of the stereotypes that come along with it. I am from another country. Both of my parents were not born in America. One of my parents along with my grandparents need someone who knows English when they want to order food at a restaurant, make a phone call, or write something down.
I never speak about this, because it’s weird to speak about, but it’s true. I don’t feel as though I fit into the idea people have of me before actually getting to know me. And I’m definitely not the only one. Our first instinct as human beings is to judge each other.
If we don’t want to be judged by others, we have to take the first step and not judge other people. We have to exercise our resistance against our instinct to judge and catch ourselves when we are judgemental. With much persistence and effort, we can change our mindset.
Without the need to perceive people a certain way because of their appearance we are allowing ourselves and each other to be just that, ourselves. Sometimes we don’t even know who we are because who we are is determined by other people's opinions. I am guilty of this but am actively working on allowing myself to be myself. By defying the beloved saying, “Don’t judge a book by its cover” we’re depriving ourselves of the ability to be ourselves. Who we really are is who we’re meant to be and why we were brought here on this planet.
