So, I am not a woman of 80 years, full of wisdom, life lessons and advice, but I am a 21 year old woman who has had her own list of experiences that have taught me many things. One thing that I am still learning and experiencing is how to love myself.
Now to some, that may sound extremely stupid. Why does anyone need to learn to love themselves? But in fact, you do and you should.
As a little girl, I was cheered on at games, had the opportunity to celebrate my birthdays with big parties, was kissed on the cheek by my Dad, and what have you, and I felt loved. But as I got older, my eyes were able to fixate themselves on other people and even other things and how I should love them, almost more than myself.
If you were a piece of paper when you’re first created, you’re slim and sleek with no rips or tears, but as you age, you begin to rip, wrinkle, get damp and tear, and even cause others pain with your paper cuts. Just like that perfect paper, as you age you learn your own voice, words that can bring people up and bring people down, and you learn to think, think about others badly, nicely, cruelly and you learn to think and have opinions about yourself.
Sure, as a little kid, I thought I was a princess and could do no wrong, but as I got older, I realized words can truly hurt just as much as physical pain. The people in my life I put trust in let me down (let's be real, I am a girl and girls love drama), and when you get disappointed, it can hurt. And that is when I realized that I have to take a step back and look at what I have done, continued to do and what others were doing in my life. Was what they said and did true and genuine and was it worth it? And more importantly, was what I was doing to others true and genuine?
I'm not going to lie, I am a people pleaser. I have this urge to make sure everything is right for everyone else. I need to make sure everyone else is comfortable before myself. I always say yes, way, way too much, because I don’t want to disappoint or let someone else down, even if it puts me out of what I had planned or needed to get done.
Until I met one of my best friends now, I always thought that saying yes was the answer, but it was not. My best friend taught me that it is okay to say no because it actually shows good character, and that it is okay to be selfish because you deserve time for yourself too and you can only do so much.
As I got older, I was able to realize that we immerse ourselves in so much, in so many people, that we forget ourselves. We spend time helping others, giving for others, doing for others, that sometimes we forget to do for us.
We end up drowning ourselves and without putting a life jacket on for our safety.
Although I still say yes more than I would like to, I have learned to not spread myself too thin. You can’t do everything you want, for yourself and even for others. Sleep is something you need, as well as time to relax and enjoy you.
So many people try to please others, and I am telling you people who do so, to stop! Especially those who do so much and are not thanked or appreciated for it. You deserve to take time for yourself and do for you instead of them. LOVE YOURSELF FIRST!
How can you help others if you don’t take care and love yourself first? Think about it -- it is true!
I’m still learning to take my own advice, but as I am trying to do that, you should consider it too! Everyone deserves to be loved, but you also deserve to love yourself for you, because you are important and just as special as anyone else.
So, in the words of Justin Bieber (cannot believe I am quoting this guy) “You should go and love yourself,” because you can.
