Don't Fear The End Of The Honeymoon Phase

Don't Fear The End Of The Honeymoon Phase

It happens to the best of us.
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Ahh, the honeymoon phase! No, I’m not talking about the spectacular trip to the Bahamas or Costa Rica immediately after you have exchanged “I do’s” with the love of your life. I’m referring to the honeymoon phase of a brand new relationship. You know, the lovey-dovey phase; the “I-can’t-keep-my-hands-off-of-you” phase; the “you’re-my-everything-and-nothing-else-matters” phase. The moment in a new relationship where your brain produces overwhelming levels of NGF’s (Nerve Growth Factors) that it causes you to feel like you’re seeing stars, or walking on air, or so enamored with your new love that it feels as though nothing can and will never go wrong. I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but the reality is that this intense and euphoric feeling does come to an end eventually. However, you don’t have to fear what comes next.

The truth of the matter is that your brain simply cannot produce endless amounts of chemicals that gives you this intense feeling of love. Once these chemicals are no longer apparent, the honeymoon phase of your relationship simultaneously ends. It is not a matter of if the honeymoon phase will end, it is a matter of when. Everyone and every relationship goes through this; for brand new relationships, the honeymoon phase can last up to a year. Where you once looked at your partner and saw absolutely zero flaws and laughed at every single one of their jokes, no matter how corny they actually were, you are now bickering with them because you are finally witnessing and nitpicking and exploiting every flaw they could possibly have. You begin to lose the passion that you once felt for your partner and due to that fact, for many, the end of the honeymoon phase signals the end of the entire relationship.

Many individuals cannot deal with the anxiety and pain that comes with the end of the honeymoon phase. They move on to the next mate to regain those same stomach butterflies that they have lost, ultimately becoming serial daters, afraid or incapable of committing or settling down.

Now I know what you’re thinking: how can I not possibly fear what comes after the end of the honeymoon phase? Simply put, the end of the honeymoon phase signals the start of a new deeper love for your partner. You cannot sustain a relationship based on lust, sex and spending endless time together. After the honeymoon phase, you must learn how to become great listeners and compromisers. You must get to know your partner on a deeper level, accept and appreciate them for who they are and for every flaw that they possess. You have to understand the fact that you are individuals coming together to create something that is greater than the two of you as individuals.

Spending time apart or “me time” is just as important as spending quality time together. As cliché as it sounds, communication is key. This is the deeper connection, the deeper love that will allow the relationship to last and overcome any obstacle that comes your way. This is the love that will lead to a strong marriage.

Once you get over the rut of the honeymoon phase ending, the real work begins. If love and relationships were easy, we would all be good at it, and the divorce rate here in the United States would be zero. However, that is not the case as not everyone knows how to put in the effective work that will sustain the relationship for decades and decades. For some people, it takes practice. For a select few, they are so good at putting in the work that they’ve only had one love and ended up marrying them. Everyone is different, but one thing holds true for all: the end of the honeymoon phase is inevitable, and it should not be the end of your relationship.

Cover Image Credit: HubPages

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To The Girl Struggling With Her Body Image

It's not about the size of your jeans, but the size of your heart, soul, and spirit.

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To the girl struggling with her body image,

You are more than the number on the scale. You are more than the number on your jeans and dresses. You are way more than the number of pounds you've gained or lost in whatever amount of time.

Weight is defined as the quantity of matter contained by a body or object. Weight does not define your self-worth, ambition or potential.

So many girls strive for validation through the various numbers associated with body image and it's really so sad seeing such beautiful, incredible women become discouraged over a few numbers that don't measure anything of true significance.

Yes, it is important to live a healthy lifestyle. Yes, it is important to take care of yourself. However, taking care of yourself includes your mental health as well. Neglecting either your mental or physical health will inflict problems on the other. It's very easy to get caught up in the idea that you're too heavy or too thin, which results in you possibly mistreating your body in some way.

Your body is your special, beautiful temple. It harbors all of your thoughts, feelings, characteristics, and ideas. Without it, you wouldn't be you. If you so wish to change it in a healthy way, then, by all means, go ahead. With that being said, don't make changes to impress or please someone else. You are the only person who is in charge of your body. No one else has the right to tell you whether or not your body is good enough. If you don't satisfy their standards, then you don't need that sort of negative influence in your life. That sort of manipulation and control is extremely unhealthy in its own regard.

Do not hold back on things you love or want to do because of how you interpret your body. You are enough. You are more than enough. You are more than your exterior. You are your inner being, your spirit. A smile and confidence are the most beautiful things you can wear.

It's not about the size of your jeans. It's about the size of your mind and heart. Embrace your body, observe and adore every curve, bone and stretch mark. Wear what makes you feel happy and comfortable in your own skin. Do your hair and makeup (or don't do either) to your heart's desire. Wear the crop top you've been eyeing up in that store window. Want a bikini body? Put a bikini on your body, simple.

So, as hard as it may seem sometimes, understand that the number on the scale doesn't measure the amount or significance of your contributions to this world. Just because that dress doesn't fit you like you had hoped doesn't mean that you're any less of a person.

Love your body, and your body will love you right back.

Cover Image Credit: Lauren Margliotti

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To The Friend I Rarely See Anymore

I wish you nothing but the best.

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When we graduated high school, we thought it was the end for us. The distance would ruin us and we wouldn't be able to call ourselves friends. Thankfully, you were my rock for the first year of school. You were the one I turned to when the adjustment was hard or when I needed someone to talk to and just listen. We never lost our connection for a whole year. We proved that nothing could pull us apart no matter how far the distance, no matter the different schedules. We were still best friends.

Another summer came and we only got stronger. We went on countless beach trips, late night hangouts, and Starbucks runs. I didn't even think it was possible to be this much closer to you than we already were. If we weren't together, we would Snapchat or text to never stop the conversation.

Now summer ended, we didn't think twice about losing our connection this time. We had a bond stronger than anyone could fathom. We once again went our separate ways and kept our texting and Snapchat habits.

But something changed.

It must've been the comfort level of sophomore year. It must've been all the new friends we got. It must have been the boys who entered our lives. We don't speak anymore. I haven't seen you since winter break. I haven't texted you since New Year's Eve. Our connection, one that was once thought to be indestructible, came crumbling down with sophomore year. I am not going to lie, sophomore year was the best of my life, but I knew you were missing the whole time. It wasn't the same without you.

I'm not upset you chose to focus your time and life on your new boyfriend. I am happy for you. I am not upset you spend more time with your school friends. I am happy for you. I am not upset you don't text me anymore and killed our streak. I know you're living a happy life. And I am too.

We may have gone our separate ways like we never imagined, but I am happy you are finally happy. Don't forget for one second that I will always be here for you. I will still always answer your text. I will still always be your shoulder to cry on even when no one else is there for you. I wish you nothing but the best, and I hope you're doing ok.

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