Almost all of us are guilty of this: falling into the all-too-easy trap of clicking on someone’s social media profile or scrolling through our feed and comparing ourselves to what we see in other people’s photos, tweets, and status updates.
It is effortless to do, and that’s part of what makes it such a big problem. All I have to do is unlock my iPhone and tap the screen once or twice to see that someone has uploaded a beautiful new profile picture, posted a status about all the amazing things they are doing, or tweeted about how much they are loving school.
“Why can’t my hair look like hers?” “Why can’t I have abs like him?” “It looks like he is having a lot more fun at his school than I have at mine.” “She looks so happy in all of her photos. I wish my life was like hers.” “He eats so healthy and clean, I should stop eating this pizza.”
These thoughts and more flood our minds as we visit someone’s profile because we want to have posts like theirs and a life like theirs. The true root of the problem is insecurity that is planted within us, and it doesn’t matter what your gender, social class, GPA, vocation or location is. Insecurity doesn’t discriminate; it affects us all.
To all of you (and myself) who struggle with comparing yourselves to others online, remember this: everything is not as it seems to be. A person’s social media profile is what they selectively choose to share with you and the rest of the world. Photos are cropped, filtered and edited to seem perfect. Statuses, captions, blogs and tweets are written and rewritten until they are ready to be “published” to the great cyberspace.
These people that you compare yourself to are not any more perfect than you are. They take selfies when they look their best: using the best angle, hair and makeup done nicely, and a flattering outfit. They pose and flex to make their body look the most appealing. They edit their photos to seem thinner, to make their teeth seem whiter, and to make their eyes brighter. They post about the good things they do, and not the bad things. They take photos of their pretty salads and not the half-heartedly done grilled cheeses. They snapchat the fun college football games they go to but not the times they are crying alone in their room at 1:00 a.m.
Maybe you’re jealous of the way they seem to seemingly effortlessly look good all the time, or how they always manage to capture the perfect photo with the perfect colors and lighting. Maybe you’re jealous of how they accept themselves and own who they are on social media. Maybe you’re jealous of how they write so eloquently, or come up with the most clever captions. Maybe you’re jealous of how fun their life appears to be.
Whatever it is, her food doesn’t always look as pretty and healthy as it does in her pictures. His body is not always toned and flexed and he doesn’t always have pretty girls flocking all over him. She doesn’t always think thoughts as mature and profound as the ones on her blog. His life isn’t as fun and carefree as all of his Snapchat stories may make it seem.
When it comes to what lies behind the seemingly perfect Facebook profile, online blog, or Instagram feed, we are all real people. Real people are flawed and imperfect. Real people get zits, scars, greasy hair, and split ends. Real people have bad days where they just wanna lay in bed in baggy sweatpants and cry until their mascara runs; real people have cheat meals that involve pizza and ice cream, and real people lay in their bed with a double chin as they scroll through their phones.
That girl with the body of a supermodel still feels insecure about her legs and stomach sometimes, and she still gets bloated. That girl who posts captions and blog posts that inspire you and make you want to be smarter and more mature still has her own internal struggles that keep her up at night. The guy who is always smiling and having a good time on Snapchat still has terrible nights. The guy who posts beautiful photos of the mountains, oceans, and the stars still has to come back to the boring city every once in a while.
So go ahead and like their post, but remember not to compare your unfiltered life to what you see online. Your life will be richer if you don’t spend it wishing it was someone else’s. Don’t let someone else’s fake presentation of a joyful, satisfactory life ruin the joy and satisfaction that you can have with your own.
