Stop Comparing Yourself To Her, You're You

Stop Comparing Yourself To Her, You're Exactly Who You're Supposed To Be

Embrace yourself and love yourself.

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What is so wrong with the way you look?

Is it because her nose is cuter? Slimmer and more like a button? Or maybe it's her lips. Maybe they're the perfect pout and yours isn't; you have to over line. Maybe she's thick and skinny in all the 'right places' and you think you're not.

Why do you sit there and think that about yourself?

We hear this all the time, but it's true: we live in an age where social media makes us criticizes ourselves and feel unsatisfied with the way we look. We stare at other girl's bodies and become envious and upset. We get frustrated and think, "Why can't I look like her? She's so much prettier than me".

FALSE. Stop comparing yourself to other girls, 'cause babe, you're so much more beautiful than you can see.

Stop being so infatuated with tearing yourself down. Stop being okay with saying "I'm so ugly!" Don't even say it as a joke, because you'd be lying to yourself. It doesn't matter if her eyes are green or blue and you think yours aren't special because they're brown. Not the hazel brown or the chocolate brown but dark brown. That's okay. Don't compare your frizzy hair to hers, because I promise you she doesn't wake up and look that way.

She doesn't wake up without morning breath, and before she goes to bed, her stomach is bloated. She has scars just like you do, her hair gets oily and she sweats too. She might be skinny but that doesn't mean she eats clean all the time. You don't have to either. You don't have to starve yourself or deprive yourself of sweet treats, indulge. You don't have to style your hair every day, just braid it or throw it in a bun.

Maybe you like her outfits. They're cute, but so are you. You look beautiful in your plain sweats and hoodies. You'd look equally as beautiful all dressed up, so don't feel like you're ugly when you're not all dressed up. Maybe she looks amazing in a bikini, and maybe you want to have a summer body too. Fun fact: every body is a summer body. I promise you she has stretch marks too. That and cellulite, birthmarks, maybe even wrinkles.

Let's consider something else: maybe there's a girl out there who's compared herself to you. Maybe she's jealous of your pretty hair, or your stunning smile. Maybe it's the way you do your makeup or your long eyelashes. The truth is, we've all compared ourselves to some other girl, at least once in our lives, if not just today. But we're hurting the way we feel about ourselves, and we aren't loving ourselves the way we deserve to.

You look at photos of other girls and think they're so gorgeous but what you don't know is that out of the 2 photos she posted, there's hundreds more she took and didn't like. We show off the best of ourselves because we love the way we look all dolled up, but we don't think the 'us' that is naked and bare is beautiful, and it's a shame.

Girls, you are just as beautiful when you're all 'fixed up' as when you think you look your 'bummiest.' I promise you. Stop comparing yourself to her. She is her and you are you and there is only one you and you are the best at being you.

Learn to love your flaws and love the way you look. That doesn't mean you can't change the way you look, if that makes you feel comfortable and confident.

But be 100%, confident, and unapologetically, you.

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I Hate That I Struggle To Love My 'Midsize' Body

I gained a few pounds, but that shouldn't be the end of the world, yet it is in a sense.

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Junior year of college has been quite the wild ride. I've had the best academic year of my entire life, yet struggled, in the end, to even want to get anything done. I didn't care about a lot of the things that used to matter to me.

I gained weight at the beginning of my second semester and went up a jean size, so half of my summer wardrobe just doesn't fit me anymore, and it's made me feel embarrassed. I went from a size 6 to an 8/10, and while it doesn't seem like a big jump to the average person, it was to me. I don't like looking in the mirror and seeing a bigger pooch than usual, or how my thighs have gotten super irritated because they also got bigger. Chaffing I used to only have in the summer occurred in late January and even scared my inner thighs. It's not cute and it hurts when it flares up. I am terrified to wear my bikinis again because I know they won't fit, and the second I put on shorts my thighs are going to want to kill me if I don't kill them first.

I came to really love my body last summer after struggling through a rough breakup where I stopped caring about myself. I owned myself last summer and as much as I want to again this summer, I'm really struggling with the idea of it.

All I feel like I see on social media are skinny girls with zero hint of a pooch or thick thighs in sight. I've never been a skinny girl and I never want to be, but I can't help but envy the people I've seen online and in person. Of course, what I see on social media isn't really accurate, but it's still been tough to look at these girls who seem like they don't have a care in the world. They can eat whatever they want and still look flawless. They can throw on a bikini and not have to feel like they need to suck everything in so no one sees their pooch hanging over their bikini bottom. As a stress eater who is still too terrified to try on her bikinis, I'm not looking forward to showing my body off when all I want to do sometimes is hide it because I don't feel happy with what I see.

I will always love being a curvier girl and YouTubers like Sierra Schultzzie, Carrie Dayton, and Lucy Wood have given me a new boost of inspiration to embrace the body I have right now. I'm not skinny but I'm not plus sized either. I feel pressure from myself and certain people in my life to be skinnier and not "let myself go." I

'm so happy to have friends who have helped me through my struggles and support me, even when I don't want to support myself. These YouTuber's have opened my eyes to the fact that this body deserves to be loved just as much as my former, smaller body.

I want to love myself with 100% of my being and I hate how much hatred I've allowed to go on inside of me. There is only one me and I need to be proud of her. Maybe she gained some weight and isn't what society expects from a girl, but she's still amazing and has so much to offer.

I wish I could see more girls like me on YouTube or social media offering a representation of my body type, which I hardly ever see. Aerie and American Eagle have done a fantastic job of including different body types and it's been a great help in seeing that they really to make clothes for all types of women, not just a size zero to two. Added representation really does wonders for someone suffering from low body confidence like me.

While I hope to begin my journey into losing a few pounds this summer by jogging whenever I get the chance, I'm not going to put intense pressure on myself to look a certain way. I am single for the summer and exploring life with my best friends by my side. I'm here to be the best version of me that I can. I cannot let negative thoughts about myself to dictate how I feel every day. I am strong, I am beautiful, and I need to love myself and my body as I am.

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Looking Back At My Past

When I moved out of my dad's house at 18, I learned several life lessons the hard way. It was an uphill battle to figure out "adulting." I hope this will give some people the ability to learn certain things without going down the hard path.

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Life has a way of teaching lessons when you are overwhelmed. The more you are exposed to, the easier it is to learn these lessons. This article goes into what I wish I knew when I first got onto my own. There were many struggles, hardships and tough times you go through when you start your walk of life alone. But with it comes victories, and the knowledge of being able to get through anything. I hope when people read this article they will see what I put as a priority to learn when you become independent.

1. Money!

Learn how to budget! Learn how you're bank works, learn about taxes. Yes these seem like boring subjects, but money, or the lack thereof, can and will make your life miserable. This is something that many adults have trouble with, and it will put stress onto you. Just taking an afternoon to learn about what you need to do for your money needs will reduce stress.

2. Make at least one friend at the place you live.

The first apartment complex I lived at, I met a (I think) 45-50 year old man. I will not actually say his name but for this purpose his name is "Tim". Tim had lived in that complex for about 20 years, and he knew the staff and the residents. If I needed help or someone to talk to. He was more of a father figure than a creepy old guy. I was new to the town, living by myself, in the middle ground between a couple of in-town gangs. I needed all the help I could get, and when you have a connection it helps.

3. Know the differences between needs and wants.

Figure out your needs: food, rent, utilities. This type of thing ties into money and time. Do not invest too much time in people that are not good for you. Invest your time in your interests, hobbies, things that make you content. When you put your time in someone who at the end isn't worth it, it will occupy your mind months after they are gone.

4. Stay in contact with your family. 

My family is pretty distant to each other. We could probably go a year without talking and it wouldn't bug me. My mom and I have gotten close recently. Generally the 'after high school' years. My mom has helped me through hard times, she has leaded me an ear, or some tough advice. Yes we've had our hard times, but there are many things that I have learned from her. I understand that once you get out on your own, it is easy to stop talking to them; especially if you had a rough time growing up. A story for another time, but if you can stay in contact even if it's as little as a text from now and then. Family is something that is hard to replace once they are gone.

5. The way life teaches lessons. 

Life will teach lessons easy at first, then they will get harder to learn as we get older. An example of this is keeping your room clean as a child, then when you have an apartment. There is more cleaning to do. If you add kids and a house to that, it's even harder. My mom has an odd way of explaining this lesson. "It's like getting hit with a 2x4." The lesson first hits you, and it's small like a golf ball. Then the baseball hits you if you didn't learn before. Before you know it you get hit by a 2x4 and the lesson will hurt in someway. So please learn it before you get hit with a 2x4.

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