I don’t want to bash the idea of high school sweethearts, and I wish that everyone could have a cute story like so many couples who meet in high school have, but not everyone does. Not everyone will be with their high school boyfriend or girlfriend for the rest of their lives. I certainly am not. My parents aren’t, and my best friend's parents aren’t, either.
Want your voice heard?: Join Odyssey!
There’s just so much growing up to do. I can’t imagine finding “forever” at 15,16, or 17. There are so many experiences to be had, people to meet, and places to go. And every single one of those things will change your perspective on your life, who you are, and the world around you. In high school, as much as you think you are and as much as you want to be, no one is all grown up. Even in college, some of us aren’t grown up at all. Actually, I don’t know when someone becomes all “grown up.” But I know I wasn’t grown up in high school, I don’t know anyone who could make adult decisions at such a young age.
Love is a big word. A really big, adult word with a lot of underlying meaning. It’s more than I can really, truly grasp sometimes. At 16 that was just a concept that completely baffled me. I could never wrap my head around how someone found true, healthy love that lasted forever when they didn’t even know who they were as an individual, independent person.
So, if you’re a high schooler who thinks she’s found The One as a sophomore or a junior, or any grade, I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but you’re probably not in love. That person probably won’t be the one that you spend the rest of forever with. As heartbreaking as that is, it is likely to be the cold, hard truth.
You might think you’re in love, but it probably qualifies as lust more than anything. An infatuation with the other person. Love is so much more complicated and messy than just about anything else in the world. I have yet to encounter someone, high school or beyond, that can be in love in a completely picture-perfect love. Because if there’s one thing I’ve learned about love it’s that it is imperfect. I know many people who understand and have perfect life examples of lust because lust fades and you move on from it often with ease. Love and lust are not synonymous, as much as many people, myself included, have often been fooled into thinking.
That’s why I have a hard time believing in love in high school. You’re just not completely who you’re supposed to be yet. The odds of you falling in love and growing at the same rate as someone for so long while having similar views on life and the world after all is said and done are just not in your favor, as crummy as that is. There are so many moving pieces to life and love, and it's OK if your first one isn’t The One. You’ve got so much growing up to do, and everything will work out just the way it’s supposed to.
More on Odyssey:
Loading video...
