If I Ever Turn Into A Bridezilla, You Have My Full Permission To Slap Me

If I Ever Go Full 'Bridezilla,' You Have My Full Permission To Slap Me

Anyone who catches me, seriously, just slap me back into my senses.

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As someone who has always loved watching "Bridezillas," the fact that Netflix now has their own, British version, called "Diva Brides" gives me more pleasure than it probably should. The older I get, the closer I pay attention to bridal shows, hoping to learn some valuable lessons about planning for weddings, picking out the perfect dress, and treating my bridesmaids and family who help with the wedding like human beings.

If I EVER act like a bridezilla, you have permission to slap me. Anyone who catches me, seriously, just slap me back into my senses.

The people in your bridal party are some of your closest family and friends, and they do not deserve to be treated like dispensable slaves to a bride who only cares about herself because it's her day. Yes, it is your day... congrats! Is it worth losing your friends and family over everything being absolutely perfect? Weddings never go one hundred percent as planned, so trying to force the people around you to make sure your day is perfect is inconceivable.

I can be a bit of a perfectionist, I will admit it, but I would never treat my friends the way I've seen some brides treat theirs. Treat everyone with respect and they may actually enjoy helping you with your wedding, Susan! My friends will likely help me with wedding inspiration and will be there along with my closest family as I pick out my mermaid style dress. Friends keep you on-budget (most of the time anyway) with everything and that's the kind of support a bride needs by her side. I treasure each and every one of my friends and can't imagine starting my new life without them to support me.

Also, my future husband would probably divorce me if he saw me treat my best friends and family like shit. Any sensible man wouldn't stand to watch that type of behavior. If you can treat your closest peeps like they don't matter to you, imagine how your husband might worry that you could easily treat him like that. Treat everyone the way you want to be treated! You're not the Queen, you're just a regular person acting extra and pushing away everyone good in your life.

I plan on making sure that those involved with helping me plan my wedding are treated as they always are, with love and respect. They don't have to take time out of their lives to help me plan, but they still will because that's what friends do. If I ever act an outlandish, extra fool towards one of my friends, I expect them to call me out right then and there.

If you want the wedding of your dreams, you have to have your friends and family there, or else it's going to be the worst day of your life, instead of the best day.

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A Thank You Letter to My Fiance

You've outdone yourself in every way, ever.
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To the man who got down on one knee just a few days ago,

Thank you. I'm not thanking you for proposing to me. That would be silly. I'm thanking you for so, so much more. Since you've come into my life, you've brought so much goodness, fun and laughter along with you. It goes so much deeper than that though. You've helped me become the best version of me, and that's something I'll never be able to repay. There are so many little things you've done that I just can't go any longer without putting it down in writing. This is an ode to you, the man that took his rough hands and helped mold me into the best version of me.

Thank you for seeing past my façade. I know I was in a rough spot before we started dating. I had come out of a terrible relationship, and I never thought I would be happy again. I put up a wicked wall. I put up walls that were covered in dark lipstick and an attitude that I didn't need a single person other than myself. You saw right through that. You saw someone that was hurting, and desperately needed someone but didn't want to get hurt again. It took you months, but eventually brick by brick, the wall came down.

Thank you for your patience. I'm not an easy person to love sometimes, I can admit that. I'm anxious, and I'm stubborn when I have a point to prove. I can have days that I think the world is ending because work just isn't going right. There are other days that I feel like I'm invincible and nothing can touch me. Thank you for going through all of these ups and downs with me. You don't just go through them with me, but you talk me through it, or as you call it, "talking me off the ledge". It's a weekly occurrence. I can't believe I get to marry someone that not only understands my moods and my anxiousness but who wouldn't want me any other way.

Thank you for bringing out the best version of me. When we met, I was going through a rough spot. I had stopped really caring about doing my makeup or feeling pretty. I know a lot of girls would say that it shouldn't matter, but for me, it was something I so enjoyed. When we met, I was working a really male oriented job. I felt the need to fit that mold and be a tomboy in order to be respected and taken seriously at work. You gave (and still give me) the outlet to be my feminine self whenever I want to be. You don't make me feel guilty for taking forever to do my makeup, and you gladly come into Sephora with me. Even though you're probably annoyed with me by the time we leave because I've smeared half a dozen different shadows on your arm and two lip pigments, you swear to me that you wouldn't have it any other way or with anyone else.

Thank you for opening my eyes to new things. Before I met you, I had never been to a race track, never mind ridden in a race car. The day after you asked me to be your girlfriend, you took me to your first race of the season. I was so naïve to what I should dress like. I wore some cutesy outfit, not knowing that I would be able to get my hands dirty and use some of the skills I had learned elsewhere. I had such an amazing time that day, I kept taking days off so that I could go to races with you. I wouldn't trade that for the world, and I love being 'one of the drivers' girls'. The day you put my name on your car, my heart fluttered the entire day. You've made me feel so special, even in the smallest of ways.

Thank you for going above and beyond for me. You've always gone above and beyond for me. Every month on the seventh without fail, you've shown up at my door with white flowers. There isn't a day that goes by that you don't do something for me, even if it's as simple as wiping down my car or making sure I've had something to eat before class at night. The way you proposed just takes the cake. At 1,882 feet, you asked me to be your wife. You drove all the way up to Rangeley, Maine on a Friday night to get down on one knee. You spent countless hours at the jeweler making sure that you had gotten the ring of my dreams. You wrote me a whole speech, that you immediately forgot when you got down on one knee. You even went as far as to have a bottle of champagne and pink roses waiting in the car after. Above and beyond doesn't even begin to cover it most days.

Thank you, my love. Thank you for all that you do for me, and for us. All of the time you put in and the effort you've put into helping me become the very best version of me, even if it meant sacrificing sleep sometimes. You have truly outdone yourself in every way, and I couldn't ask for a better person to call my future husband.



Cover Image Credit: Alyson Perry

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My Parents Didn’t Tell Me To Stay Pure Until Marriage, I Made That Decision On My Own

So, please respect my decision.

tiannat
tiannat
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As we evolve into a more open and accepting world, the one thing that is getting less taboo is sex. It's not something that is talked about behind closed doors. It's something that is on the television screens and easily accessible on our phones. People talk about it and promote it like it's small talk. It's so hard to escape, especially as a young adult.

To say that I am staying pure until marriage is a very uncommon thing, at least in my opinion. Sure, I have friends who are in the same boat as I am. But, even at a Christian college, sex is everywhere and most people are partaking in it. However, I decided to not.

Growing up, my parents never told me to stay pure until marriage directly. I went to church and heard about it in sermons. I knew that by keeping myself pure until marriage, I would enjoy it more knowing that I waited for my future husband. I understand that some people may not agree with me on this topic, but here's why I am saving myself.

1. I want to know that the man loves me.

For me, I want to have sex with someone that I love. Now, you may defend this with the fact that your boyfriend loves you. That's great. But, dating isn't always a sure thing. Boys (and girls) can say that they love you, just to get in your pants. And, they will. It happens all the time. And, because you are blinded by love, you will end up giving in and doing it. But, see, I don't want to be blinded by love. I want to know that the person I am with, is with me forever. By making the biggest commitment aka marriage, that is a clear sign that they love me and want me forever. This is a good example of actions show more than words do. They can say they love me, but when they showcase that love, that's when I know it is real.

2. I want to give all of me to one person.

I heard this great example my senior year that discusses this exact thing. For someone like Hugh Hefner, who was with HUNDREDS of women, when he got older, he said he didn't feel anything anymore when it came to sex. He was numbed by the whole experience. It wasn't pleasurable or for love. By having sex with countless women, he had given a little part of himself to each of them, until he had nothing left. Therefore, by saving myself for one person, they would be getting all of me. As a whole. 100%. This is special because no one else has that except for my future husband.

3. The idea of getting pregnant scares me because of the lack of security.

For the past three generations in my family, they have all had children young. 15, to 17, to 20 years old. Blinded by love. Manipulated by their hormones. They had sex and got pregnant. To see not only 1 woman, but 3 women in my life go through that, I know how difficult it is. You're a kid yourself. Personally, I do want children. However, I have so many dreams and goals for myself. I want to graduate from college. Get a good career. Travel. Fall in love. A lot of that can be halted by a child. I don't know if I would get to achieve everything I want to, especially if I would have to raise the child alone (which usually happens). So, by waiting for marriage, I am using the biggest form of birth control.

4. There's no comparing, if you have only been with one person.

Now, this is different for every relationship. However, everyone feels insecure or uncomfortable when it comes to dating and relationships. Knowing that someone has had sex prior, you wonder if you are shaping up or doing better than the previous. By only having sex with one person, it relieves the stress of comparison.

5. It brings me closer to God.

One important lesson I have learned from friends, college, and personal experience, is that relationships (when it isn't built on God), you tend to stray away from Him. Therefore, by making my relationship with God stronger, I fall in love with Him first. Then, I am capable of loving a boy and committing to something like marriage and sex.

So, no, my parents never convinced me to stay pure until marriage. It was my own decision. I have reasoning for staying pure and it's my choice. So, please stop shaming virginity in the 21st century, because I'm not shaming you if you aren't one.

tiannat
tiannat

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