One of the things that upsets me the most is when people are told that their problems are not valid. When people are told to just, “get over it,” or to just, “move on,” all that does is upset them more, thus causing an even bigger issue.
Allow me to let you in on a little secret: You are allowed to be upset, you are allowed to be sad, and trust me, you are more than allowed to cry.
It doesn’t matter if you failed a test, stubbed your toe, or broke your arm. It doesn’t matter if your mom kicked you out of the house, if your father passed away, or if your dog is ill. It doesn’t matter if you were diagnosed with cancer or if you were involved in a car wreck. It doesn’t matter if your wallet was stolen, if your computer crashed, or if you aren’t getting along with someone who means the world to you. It doesn’t matter if your vehicle’s battery gave out, if the person you love shattered your heart, or if your house went up in flames. It doesn’t matter if you’re forced to move away from the place you’ve always called home, if that one kid in school won’t stop bullying you, or if you were shot. It doesn’t matter if your brother won’t call you back, if you had a nightmare, or if the dark thoughts in your head never seem to end.
It doesn’t matter.
In short, it doesn’t matter what your problem is: A problem is a problem and, if it has a negative impact on you, it is valid and it is worth talking about.
You don’t have to be raped or stabbed in the neck in order to be going through a rough patch. You don’t have to have the most extreme scenario happen to you in order to be upset. Just because you don’t have it as bad as other people does not mean you do not have the right to shed a few tears.
Comparing your life to the lives of others solves nothing.
Of course, getting stung by a wasp and being physically attacked by another human are on the complete opposite ends of the problem spectrum, but the point is that they’re still problems. There’s a difference between needing to express your feelings about something that upsets you and milking the pain you feel to get people to feel sorry for you. There’s a fine line between letting your emotions out and throwing a pity party for yourself. Needing to vent about a bad day and complaining about a bad day are two completely different things.
Know the differences.
If someone comes to you because they are upset, hear them out. If you don’t think what they’re crying about is a big deal, shut your mouth and listen anyway because, to them, it’s worth the tears, and that’s all that matters. People know that, most times, someone else can’t solve their issues. People don’t reach out to others in hopes that they have magic fairy dust to make everything bad in their lives go away. People go to others in search of someone who will lend them an ear; All you have to do is listen. Give them a shoulder to cry on and give them a tissue to dry their tears. If they want advice, offer them your wisdom. Give the people in your life what they need. And, if there is somebody in your life who doesn’t do the same in return, get rid of them. Get rid of anybody who makes you feel like what you’re going through isn’t important. Get rid of anybody who looks at you like you’re just searching for attention. And, above all else, get rid of anybody who makes you feel less than what you are.
Stop thinking that just because you’re still alive and kickin’ it that you don’t have the right to be upset about something that happened to you. Keeping all of you problems, no matter how big or how small, bottled up inside of you will do nothing but build them into an even bigger issue.
Cry to a family member.
Vent to a friend.
Scream into a pillow.
Go for a midnight drive.
You owe it to yourself to do whatever you need to do in order to make yourself feel better. You deserve to feel good, so do yourself a favor and be proactive about doing so.
I don't know what's worse, how ironic it is that people thinking their problems aren’t valid is a problem or the fact that the person who needs to read this article the most is the one who wrote it.
