I hate to admit this, but domestic violence occurs in the United States every day. This is a very hard topic to talk about because it kind of hits home for me, but this is something everyone needs to know about and be educated on.

Domestic violence does NOT occur to women only. There are a lot of cases to where men get abused just as much as women. We tend to stereotype domestic violence as only happening to women because there are more cases about it occurring to women. Statistics indicate that 1 in 3 women, throughout the world, will experience some form of violence during their lives. Most of these cases happen to individuals who are in a serious committed relationship.

I was watching this TED talk for my Lifespan Psychology class about domestic violence. Leslie Steiner was the speaker and she talked about her own personal experience with domestic violence and how there are three stages to it. The stages are to seduce and charm the victim, isolate the victim, and introduce the threat of violence towards the victim that could potentially kill them. She goes on talking about how most people stay in domestic violence relationships because they don’t know they are getting abused or they are scared they are going to kill them.

I have personally experience what Leslie Steiner was talking about. I was in a relationship for about eight months with a guy I thought was my soulmate. He did all the right things and treated me like a lady. He would introduce me to his coworkers and family and wanted me to hang out with them. Everything was going great until he started to get aggressive. He would verbally abuse me by telling me all these negative things about myself and then manipulating me into thinking everything was my fault. There was also physical abuse which then lead him into threating to kill us both in his truck while we were driving down the interstate. All of this had happened in the course of eight months, but I didn’t realize it was abuse until I had talked to my friends about it. I was of course scared to leave him, but with the support of my friends, I was able to do so.

I know that this isn’t a particular subject that people always like to talk about, but I am more than happy to share my experience if it will help others. I am not asking for any kind of sympathy because in a way, I am grateful for that experience because it has made me into the person I am today. I am now able to talk to others and give them advise about their relationships. I am more cautions and aware of the kind of attitudes men put towards women to help predict a domestic violence relationship.

Besides the fact that this experience is saddening and also influential, I wanted to write about this to help others see the importance of this issue. You may have a friend who puts a smile on their face every day and talks about how great their life is, but you don’t see what is happening when you aren’t around. If you know someone who is in a domestic violence relationship, help them seek help. Be the support system that they need to get through this tough time. Be the person who is there for them and will listen to their problems. Every bit of support helps them get closer to realizing that they need to leave that relationship.

Domestic violence is a serious issue that we all need to take into consideration in life. If we can help others by supporting them and helping them speak out, then we can help prevent domestic violence from happening.