As I’m writing this Christmas Eve is exactly one week away. Normally I would be ecstatic considering as long as I can remember Christmas has been my favorite holiday. There’s something magical about the carols, the baking, and spending time with loved ones that has always captured my heart. Now, with this in mind my question is why am I feeling more like Cindy Lou Who with each passing day? My persona mocks that of the beginning of almost every Christmas movie out there only there’s no Grinch for me to rehabilitate, Scrooge for me to scare into the Christmas spirit, or clock for me to break.
I don’t fully understand my sudden bah humbug attitude but my guess is that it’s partly due to the 85-degree weather as well as that as people grow older they start to lose their holiday spirit. We learn the secrets of the adult world and realize that Christmas is matched with credit card debit, family arguments, and the same three holiday movies on television each night. We fight to get the holidays off from work so we can make time to watch those same three movies around the television with our families.
Is this lack of holiday spirit to be expected for someone going through their 20’s and that one day when I have my own family suddenly the Christmas spirit will magically find me once more? It’s not that I suddenly despise all things surrounding Christmas. I still love buying my friends and family gifts, donating to everything that asks, and spending time with loved ones but at the same time it doesn’t make me warm and fuzzy like it once did.
Could it be that the family traditions that were once upheld in my household are being pushed under the tree skirt? Perhaps the reason I can’t seem to get into the Christmas mood is that I’m mourning those Christmas’ of the past. The ones where I started watching Christmas movies the day after Thanksgiving, when Christmas music was the only things to blast through my speakers, and I anxiously awaited Christmas morning.
My hope is that with the coming week the Christmas spirit finds me. Maybe I’m wrong and Christmas Past, Present, and Future will pay me a visit in my sleep or a train bound for the North Pole will pick me up in the middle of the night. All I know for now is that I’m desperately seeking some holiday joy and I hope to find some soon. I’ll leave off with the wise words of the smallest who in Whoville, “Where are you Christmas. Why can’t I find you?”
