Spanking children used to be the norm in households, my siblings and I were spanked growing up, but I can't say the same about my friends. Many people today see spanking as a form of child abuse, so people don't want to discuss it. But if it's becoming this big of an issue, it needs to be discussed.
The Boston Globe published an article titled "What if Spanking Works?" They got the discussion started and what was found is that many people won't discuss it due to fear of Child Protective Services intervening in their households. But that same article also says that even though many parents don't want to do it, they do anyway. Why?
Why are people so scared of talking about this?
Many people think that spanking is just bad parenting. Usually, it's seen as bad parenting because many studies show it is linked to a higher risk of mental health issues, substance abuse, and anxiety and lower IQ. These studies that are showing these types of outcomes are mainly looking at severe physical punishment. This also doesn't take into account, how they're being spanked. Is it with a paddle, belt, a switch, is it bare bottom? These are more aggressive than just regular open-handed spankings.
Spanking is not abuse, it's discipline.
Many people, such as myself, view spanking as a form of discipline. It teaches respect, not only for their parents but also for all adults and authority. Being spanked taught me that my mom was in charge, not me. I don't call the shots, she does. It also teaches children the meaning of no, and that when you're told no and don't listen, there are consequences. Spanking is the earliest form of being taught about consequences, the consequence of not listening, or being disrespectful, is spanking.
Religion supports spanking too.
If you're a religious person, the bible also says that spanking your child is better than allowing them to do whatever as they grow up and lack respect. "Spare the rod, spoil the child," is a very prominent quote in the bible that encourages spanking. As a parent, your responsibility is to give your child the best chance at succeeding in life, not disciplining them, is not helping them, it hurts them. Like I said previously, spanking teaches a child so much, boundaries, respect, and consequences.
This doesn't mean you beat your child.
There is a very thin line, however, between abuse and discipline. Using a switch, belt, and paddle may be going too far, but those are murky waters. Spanking really, in my opinion, shouldn't be used past four years old, and especially not for a child that can't even walk. The window is small, by five, a child has an understanding of what it means to be in "time-out," they understand why they had their favorite toy or even phone was taken away.
A two-year-old really does not have the attention span for a "time-out," they only have about a two to three-minute attention span, whereas a five-year-old, has about a five-minute attention span. Having a two-minute attention span will not leave the child with an understanding of that punishment.
It's your choice as a family unit as to how you discipline your children. You know your children better than anyone else, if you believe they are responding to spanking, then there you go, if they respond just fine to a time-out and you see a change in negative behavior than that works too. But don't be ashamed of how you parent, discipline doesn't make you a bad parent.
