Finals are hard enough as it is.
These memes of Ross from Friends describe finals week perfectly.
Kids are going to grow up to be spoiled brats if you don't discipline them.
So, lately a scandal broke the internet about a father who made his daughter walk to school after she got kicked off the school bus for bullying another student. And the father was given criticism about it.
Bullying is a real problem today. So many children are bullied every day for the clothes they wear, the things they like, or where they live. As children get older and continue to be bullied, unfortunately, some of them turn to suicide as a solution.
So this little girl normally rides the school bus, but she was kicked off because she decided to bully another child on the bus. This meant that her dad would have to take her to school, but instead of just handing her a car ride and her not learn anything, he turned it into a lesson for her. He made her walk 5 miles to school in cold weather so that she would realize that her actions are what caused this.
She acted out and now she has to face the consequences. The problem today is that there are very few parents like this man. Most parents just turn their child loose without ever teaching them right from wrong. So we have all these teenagers who think the world owes them something because no one taught them how to act. In the real world, everything isn't going to be handed to you. In the real world, if you choose to do wrong, you will face the consequences. And the consequences in the real world are much worse than having to walk to school.
But this whole scandal reminded me of a similar debate on discipline that's been going on for a while: spanking. There's nothing wrong with spanking a child. My parents spanked me as a child. I was never abused, just disciplined. And I turned out just fine. I know how to treat people, I know right from wrong, and I don't act like a spoiled brat.
Children need rules and guidelines when they're growing up. They need to know that the world doesn't revolve around them. They need to know right from wrong. They need to know that all of their actions have consequences, whether they're good or bad.
So, instead of criticizing this man for being a good parent, start disciplining your children.
You're only doing harm.
On Facebook, I recently came across an article on Odyssey that made my blood boil. The author argued that spanking is a form of discipline, not abuse. They claimed the studies that illustrate the harmful effects of spanking are inaccurate. However, this is not a subject in which there is opinion, only fact.
Numerous studies have emerged over the years proving the harmful effects of spanking your children, whether it be with an open hand, a belt, or a hanger. The University of Texas and the University of Michigan used FIFTY YEARS of research to prove that spanking is completely counter-active, making children more likely to defy and leading to anti-social behavior, mental health issues, and aggression. This study looked at over 160,000 children. And, unlike the author claimed, this study looked only at spanking, not other forms of physical abuse.
Sure, spanking may at first appear to work, because of course children are afraid of being hit. However, the research done makes it very clear that this is not a long-term solution, and only results in children growing more aggressive. Children will grow resentful and act out in fear.
Facts aside, let's look at this from a moral stand point. Why on earth would you want your children to fear you? Young children are trusting and have been placed in your hands with you as protector. Parents are meant to guide and nurture. The moment you purposefully inflict pain? That trust is abused and forever broken.
Yes, the adult is in charge. Children can be defiant. However, pain does not equal authority. Pain equals pain. So why with all this research, do 80% of parents still spank their children? Tradition? Lack of self-control? Frustration?
Since we struggle to begin a dialogue about something like spanking, it is difficult to say. However, with one in five youth experiencing a mental disorder, and a clear link between mental illness and spanking, it's safe to say it's time to spark this dialogue.
I may not be a parent, but I'm human enough to say you should keep your damn hands off your kids.
Spanking is seen as so controversial, but it's not as terrible as you may think.
Spanking children used to be the norm in households, my siblings and I were spanked growing up, but I can't say the same about my friends. Many people today see spanking as a form of child abuse, so people don't want to discuss it. But if it's becoming this big of an issue, it needs to be discussed.
The Boston Globe published an article titled "What if Spanking Works?" They got the discussion started and what was found is that many people won't discuss it due to fear of Child Protective Services intervening in their households. But that same article also says that even though many parents don't want to do it, they do anyway. Why?
Why are people so scared of talking about this?
Many people think that spanking is just bad parenting. Usually, it's seen as bad parenting because many studies show it is linked to a higher risk of mental health issues, substance abuse, and anxiety and lower IQ. These studies that are showing these types of outcomes are mainly looking at severe physical punishment. This also doesn't take into account, how they're being spanked. Is it with a paddle, belt, a switch, is it bare bottom? These are more aggressive than just regular open-handed spankings.
Spanking is not abuse, it's discipline.
Many people, such as myself, view spanking as a form of discipline. It teaches respect, not only for their parents but also for all adults and authority. Being spanked taught me that my mom was in charge, not me. I don't call the shots, she does. It also teaches children the meaning of no, and that when you're told no and don't listen, there are consequences. Spanking is the earliest form of being taught about consequences, the consequence of not listening, or being disrespectful, is spanking.
Religion supports spanking too.
If you're a religious person, the bible also says that spanking your child is better than allowing them to do whatever as they grow up and lack respect. "Spare the rod, spoil the child," is a very prominent quote in the bible that encourages spanking. As a parent, your responsibility is to give your child the best chance at succeeding in life, not disciplining them, is not helping them, it hurts them. Like I said previously, spanking teaches a child so much, boundaries, respect, and consequences.
This doesn't mean you beat your child.
There is a very thin line, however, between abuse and discipline. Using a switch, belt, and paddle may be going too far, but those are murky waters. Spanking really, in my opinion, shouldn't be used past four years old, and especially not for a child that can't even walk. The window is small, by five, a child has an understanding of what it means to be in "time-out," they understand why they had their favorite toy or even phone was taken away.
A two-year-old really does not have the attention span for a "time-out," they only have about a two to three-minute attention span, whereas a five-year-old, has about a five-minute attention span. Having a two-minute attention span will not leave the child with an understanding of that punishment.
It's your choice as a family unit as to how you discipline your children. You know your children better than anyone else, if you believe they are responding to spanking, then there you go, if they respond just fine to a time-out and you see a change in negative behavior than that works too. But don't be ashamed of how you parent, discipline doesn't make you a bad parent.
