In a world dominated by the controversy of what constitutes as consent, many are left wondering “what does ‘no’ actually mean?” Is ‘no’ just a word that actually means ‘yes?’ Is it actually hard to understand that a word simply means what the actual word is? Or, more deeply, is the word ‘no’ a word that is only misused by the ugly of the world who take advantage of others? What if we lived in a world where “yes” did not mean yes?
Scenario 1
Customer: I would like the garden salad.
Server: Would you like shrimp with your salad?
Customer: Yes!
Server: *serves customer salad with shrimp*
Customer: *eats salad*
Customer: Where is my shrimp?
Server: You wanted shrimp with your salad?
Customer: Yes, I ordered shrimp because I wanted shrimp.
Server: Oh, I did not think you meant you wanted shrimp when you said you wanted shrimp.
It makes sense, right? No one deserves shrimp they ask for it. No one should get what they ask for. The waiter sincerely thought that the customer meant no when they said yes. Does this excuse the fact that the customer did not get what she asked for?
Scenario 2
Boyfriend: I wanted to take you to a special place for dinner tonight.
Girlfriend: *gushes* Why?
Boyfriend: *gets on one knee* I love you so much. Will you marry me?
Girlfriend: Yes!
Boyfriend: *looking sad* Yes?
Girlfriend: YES! I would love to marry you!
Boyfriend: So you actually want to marry me?
Girlfriend: That is why I said yes!
Boyfriend: Oh, I thought you meant no when you said yes.
These obnoxious analogies offer a window into what it is actually like for a victim of sexual assault to explain how they did not want to be attacked. Consent is given when both parties are capable of verbally agreeing to events that can follow. Consent is not given when either party is intoxicated, passed out, or unable to verbally agree to anything.
Currently, we live in a world where “no” is misinterpreted to mean “yes.” Be the change in the world. Only engage in relations when all parties consent.
Yes means yes; no means no. Simple, right?
