The Doane Swans' Song
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The Doane Swans' Song

Should they stay or should they go?

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The Doane Swans' Song
Cheyanna Kempel

In August, Doaneline reported that the students of Doane University will vote as to whether or not they would like to keep the swans that have resided on campus.

The swans of the university have been the butt of jokes for as long as they’ve roamed the waters of Doane Lake.They’re beautiful, graceful, picturesque creatures, but they’re also bullies.

The swans are just down right mean. Swans are territorial animals, which means anyone and everyone even thinking about walking through the center of campus is immediately their enemy.

Honestly, Doane students are terrified of the swan couple, especially when they choose to hold sections of the sidewalks on campus hostage. It doesn’t matter if it’s between Hansen and Communications or between the lake and Perry. Student will stop in their tracks, turn around, and walk the long way around the lake just to avoid any confrontation with the birds.

The swans eye down students who dare go near them. They’ll hiss at passer byers. They’ll chase anyone who gets too close. It only takes one first year student to teach the whole freshman class that the swans don’t mess around.

They’re always ready for a fight. If someone is late to class, a reasonable excuse could very possibly involve the swans, and the professors will understand the tardiness. The professors may even try this excuse themselves. There have even been rumors that the swans and squirrels are in cahoots to take over campus. Not likely, but still possible.

But, despite all the wrath the swans have brought to those walking the paths of Doane’s campus over the years, it would be tough to say goodbye to our white, feathery friends.

On rare occasions, when the sun is setting and the lights of campus glow under the vast, Nebraska sky, the swans seem to float across the lake in all of their magnificent glory.

The swan couple is a fixture of campus, whether students like them or not. There are definitely legitimate reasons why campus would be better off without them. In all reality, some students may not even be sad to see them go, but they’ve certainly given campus the gift of picturesque scenery for a long time now. For that, we should be grateful.

If our swan couple must go, we will no longer need to worry about warning newbies that messing with the swans could result in a $500 fine. Everyone would walk freely along the paths without feeling two sets of aviary eyes following them to class. There would be no more stories of being hissed at while walking along the path. No more excuses for being late to class.

Whatever the students decide to do with the swans, we all know the jokes and stories will never really die.

Now, the fate of the Doane swans is in our hands.

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This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.
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