When I first met him, I didn't think anything would come of it besides a friendship. I didn't think things were going to end up like they did, and I absolutely didn't think that he was going to mean this much to me.
I didn't know that it was going to be this hard to walk away.
If you are anything like me, then you don't like to give up on things that are important to you. Chances are, the guy who you love is one of those things.
When they first start talking to you, they'll do anything to get your attention. They'll send you sweet good morning texts, consistently calling you a cutie or beautiful, and talk to you all day, every day. They'll make you feel like you're important, and like you actually mean something to them. He treated you like the princess you are, showered you with attention, and kept coming you back for more. But it's all just an act. Once you grow on them and give them your undivided attention, they change. As time goes on, these things probably become few and far between. Maybe he started getting distant, blowing you off, or just not treating you the way you deserve. But what happens when you give them what they want? All of a sudden, they're done with you. You become just another girl on his list, another piece in his game.
Nothing is worse than being led on and used by someone you thought cared about you. Especially when they tell you that they would never be the type of guy to just use you. Well, they lied straight to your face. They figure out what to say and do to get you to do what they want, and every single time you cave in. You cave because you like this person, or at least you think you do. But you don't like this person; you like the person they were when they started talking to you, the guy he was before he got what he wanted.
Being used makes you feel like crap. It makes you feel like you're not good enough for anything besides what he wanted. It makes you feel worthless. It makes you feel stupid for always going back to him when you know he doesn't deserve it.
But I'm telling you that he's not worth it. He will probably never find anyone as good as you. He'll be complaining about never being able to find that loyal girl when in fact you were there from the start. But it's whatever. IT'S HIS LOSS! Take what you learned from trusting him and walk away. Give all you have to give to some good guy that deserves it and until then, give it all to Jesus and trust in Him. You are good enough. You are worth it. You aren't stupid. You just made a mistake, and you're going to learn from it. I have been told time and time again: "People come into your life and they either become a lesson or a blessing". Remember that he was a lesson and move on.
And if you keep questioning yourself, remember these five things:
There are plenty of fish in the sea, and you're jumping from a small lake to an ocean. You'll find the new guys who will put the old guy to shame.
2. You have the best support system
Moving on is hard, but in college, you find the friends who you'll ask to be your bridesmaids in 5 years. Your friends are there for you when you want to cry or laugh. Take advantage of the fact that some of the people you love most are nearby.
3. You're moving on to big things.
You need to remember that college is about getting an education so you can land a job and pursue your dreams. You're here to reach goals that you thought of when you were in elementary school and if he isn't helping you reach them, then he is not for you.
College is about self-growth and although you'll experience heartbreak, you'll learn from your mistakes. Without someone holding you back, you'll have time to figure out what is going to make you happy and learn more about yourself.
It's as simple as that.
You are a child of the Lord and that's all you need in life.