Lately in my life I have been experiencing a lot of fear in losing people I know and love. The end of my first semester at college is approaching, and with that in mind I’m taking time to reflect on how I’ve established myself as a student at UAB. Not academically, but mainly just as a person. I’m taking time to reflect on the friendships I made, the status of my social life, and the structure of my well-being. And while I can say with clear evidence that I’ve made plenty of friendships, it’s hard for me to realize this under the influence that my irrational fear of losing people gives to my mind. Throughout this semester, I have been imagining the worst possible outcome of many of the friendships that I’ve been forming. While I want to think the best of these relationships, that they are strong and will only continue to grow, I continue to do nothing but be consumed in my worry that they will fade due to my social mistakes, my personality, or my lack of enthusiasm and action, and I will have no one to blame but myself. This brings me to develop a bad case of FOMA (Fear of Missing Out). The thing that aggravates me the most about this fear is that I never feel comfortable taking time to myself because I constantly feel the need to be with other people in order to further strengthen the relationship I already have with them. And while it is good to spend time with people you care about, by no means should anyone feel obligated to spend all their time with them. This leads to the incorrect prioritization of one’s social life over other aspects, like academics, sleep, and mental health. I now value my alone time more than I ever have because I realize I’ve needed it more than ever, and I’m getting so little of it.

I have come to the point where I’ve realized that my anxiety and fear has completely corrupted my thought process. While it may be hard, I find myself needing to take an honest look at what has been going on in my social life and think, “Are things really as bad as I’m making them out to be?” This helps me to set aside my negative bias that my worries put against me and see my social life from an objective point of view. I have made several friends since I’ve gotten here. I do things with people every day. I know if I texted anyone that I’ve become close to since I’ve gotten to college if I was in a crisis, they’d be more than willing to help. The fact that I can say that much with only one semester of school down is more than enough for me. Things are never as bad as they seem.

By no means should anyone feel the need to risk their mental health attempting to spend all their time trying to save relationships that don’t even need saving in the first place. Your time is valuable and you do not need to let that time be in the control of other people who you are afraid of losing. If these people are your friends, they will see your personality and vibrant spirit beyond any amount of time you could spend with them. There is no need to worry; you are dearly loved and cherished and a rain check will never change that.