Where Are All The 'Good Guys'? Do They Even Exist?

You Can Only Look For A 'Good' Guy For So Long, And I'm Starting To Wonder If There Are Any Left Out There

Where did all the "good" guys go?


As a woman, I do not need a man to be complete. I'm perfectly fine on my own, and frankly, sometimes being alone is better than the stress and drama of having a relationship with the wrong person.

But admit it, new relationships are fun and exciting. There is nothing like it in the world. And when you meet a great guy, the last thing you want is to be on your own. You want to be with them. You think of them, dream of them and long to be with them.

Getting dolled up for a date is so much fun — the anticipation of seeing him, the desire to look good for him and your hope to be memorable in the sea of other girls out there.

So much goes into getting ready: the task of choosing the perfect outfit, the right shoes (so you aren't taller than he is), your jewelry (not too much, but just enough), getting your hair just right (sexy but not too perfect) and finding the perfect scent that he'll smell when he nuzzles your neck (and remember long after your date).

There's also the art of applying your blush, coating your feathered eyelashes with layers of black mascara and, of course, putting that perfect pink lipstick on — all while knowing that it's going to come off on his lips.

It's a process that men will never understand. They just know they like what they see and want to take off everything you've painstakingly chosen to put on for them.

But eventually, you begin to see the real person emerge from within the person you are with. There is always something.

They aren't over their exes or do nothing but talk about them. All they want is sex, or they don't put you first (or at least high up on the list). They have close friends that are female (which is OK once you get comfortable with it and get to know them, but in a new relationship it's hard to know if it's really a female friend or a convenient friend with benefits). They don't have time for you. They drink, vape, smoke weed or do drugs. They are uncaring, or they are just plain jerks.

So, where are the good guys? Where are the caring, loyal, faithful, protective, passionate, respectful, patient, perfect-for-you guys? Where are the ones who make you feel special, make you laugh, make you feel secure and make you feel like you're the only girl in the world?

I'm looking for the guy who smiles at you, looks at you and actually sees you — not the girl standing behind you. I'm looking for the guy who asks you questions and is actually interested in your answers, who remembers your favorite ice cream flavor, who holds your hand, or picks you up and carries you over a puddle so you don't get your shoes wet.

Where is the guy who sends you song lyrics, texts you "I'm thinking of you" without expecting a reply (and is really thinking about you, not just saying it)? Where's the one who stops when you say "no" and will wait patiently until you say yes? Where's the guy who appreciates the time you take to get ready for him and tells you that you are just gorgeous?

I want someone who isn't afraid to tell you their feelings, who doesn't play games, who knows your worth, who appreciates you, who doesn't ever want to lose you — the guy who you can trust with your heart.

I've always been very discerning in who gets a second look from me, and I am downright selective in who I say yes to.

I'm not a girl who needs a guy to be complete.

I don't need you — but I just might like to see where this can go and hope that you're one of the good guys.

Report this Content
This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.

For a long time, Goya has been a staple in some Latino households. People carry around jars of Adobo when they eat at friend's houses and packets of Sazón Goya can be found in almost everyone's pantry. Many BuzzFeed lists, videos, and memes aimed at Latinos reference Goya somewhere.

But in a year that just keeps hitting us with bad news, Goya Foods CEO Robert Unanue said that Trump was an "incredible builder" and that the US was "blessed" to have him as president at a White House event on Thursday.

Keep Reading... Show less

Unauthorized Plastic Surgery Is Totally Unethical, And Happening WAY More Often Than We Know ‬

Plastic surgery for cosmetic enhancements has you looking more botched than beautiful and it’s painful to see.

Coming from someone who could afford numerous cosmetic enhancing procedures I would never in a million years cut up my face or my body. I'm pretty emphatic and when I watch these brainwashed victims with bandages and chronic inflammation (swollen lips) I literally feel their pain.

Keep Reading... Show less

I've never been big on casual wear or athleisure. Most people who know me have never seen me in sweats. But, I do have those two or three pairs of sweats I can't resist climbing into the second I get home, the newest addition of which is the extra cozy Odyssey crewneck sweatshirt I got in an XL size to feel as close to being wrapped in a blanket at all times as possible.

In the past several months, I've started to expand my horizons, considering the ways in which I can bring my small wardrobe of comfortable bedroom clothing into the public. I've experimented with topping leggings and a sports bra with a denim jacket to the park, and an oversized sweatshirt worn as a dress, cinched at the waist with a belt when I'm out wearing leggings.

Keep Reading... Show less

How To Dress Like Your Favorite 'Insecure' Characters — Without Spending $2,000

We take a look at the fashion of Insecure season 4, and how you can create these looks yourself.


Insecure is one of my favorite shows ever. It really encapsulates what it's like being a Black 20-something, trying to navigate the many ups and downs of life. Issa, Molly, Kelli, and Tiffany are living their best lives in California while dealing with the twists and turns that come with that.

From life to relationships to careers, this show truly captures everything that runs through my mind on a daily basis. The show has a sense of realness and a strong frankness that makes you gravitate toward the characters and root for their success.

Keep Reading... Show less

Making A Food Instagram Was The Greatest Silver Lining To Come Out Of My COVID-19 Experience

With the crazy and scary times that 2020 has brought, find comfort in the one thing everyone loves: food.

The waiter briskly moves towards us and stops just a foot away table, balancing the black serving tray stacked high with the ceramic plates that make-up our dinner. From memorization, he beings gently, but purposely, sliding everyone's orders in front of them and within seconds I'm am starring my meal.

Keep Reading... Show less

These Honey-Based Beauty Buys Are All We Need To BEE Our Glowiest, Hair To Toes

We're buzzing at each and every one of these.

Honey has been a staple in my Ayurvedic skincare routine since I was a kid and my grandmother used to make me homemade paste-like face masks by mixing chickpea flour, turmeric, honey, and yogurt together.

I now use honey head to toe — on my hair to make it extra shiny, on my face for its natural smoothing and anti-bacterial properties, and the rest of my body for its extreme textural and brightening benefits. Some people even use it on their armpits for honey's lightening effect on the skin.

Keep Reading... Show less
Health and Wellness

People Are Eating Salads For Breakfast, And It's About Time

As Americans we know we all need to eat more fruits and veggies, why not do it at breakfast?

I first started seeing a dietitian in late 2017. At the time, I was the heaviest I've ever been at about 210 lbs. At the first appointment, my dietitian asked me to record what I ate in a food diary so she could better understand my habits and give me better direction in changing my lifestyle. I did exactly that and returned a week later, diary in hand. After a cursory glance at the pages, she first remarked at how few fruits and vegetables I ate. Deep down I had already known that, but what I didn't know then was that I was far from being alone in that respect. According to a Times article, about 90 percent of Americans don't consume enough fruits and vegetables to meet current dietary guidelines. It's hardly rocket science as to why that is — many of our diets consist mainly of carbs and non-planted based protein. This isn't to say that carbs and protein are the devils; they're both parts of a balanced diet. However, vegetables and fruit are also part of a balanced diet — a part that often gets neglected. So, when I see people on Instagram eating salad for breakfast, I think to myself "It's about time!"

Keep Reading... Show less

Founders Of Color Q&A: Yarlap's MaryEllen Reider On Destigmatizing Women's Health

The father-daughter duo co-founded the brand and has since generated a passionate, dedicated community of women.

MaryEllen Reider

I was lucky enough to meet MaryEllen Reider over a decade ago as a fellow freshman in college. Since then, I had the luxury of being able to witness her evolution from the faithful companion I went to my first job fair with to the woman who is now a pioneer in destigmatizing the portrayal of women's reproductive health.

Keep Reading... Show less
Facebook Comments