I used to imagine having an extravagant wedding where my name would leave every guests' lips. This, of course, was a time in my life where I played along with the idea a girl would be the bride—a thought that never settled with me because I desperately envied their dresses. But when asked why I wanted to experience marriage, my response lacked originality. In fact, living in a small town can influence character, values, and beliefs, sometimes turning people into glorified cartoon characters.
When I turned sixteen, I decided to download a dating app where my perception of marriage—arguably relationships—would soon be forever changed, possibly comparable to a self-metamorphosis. Participating in online dating is similar to passive-aggressively complimenting a fellow bar patron without having awkward eye contact or any consequential rejection. Likewise, cheating has become essentially as simple as pick-pocketing, if thieves had their own app where mutual people shared private information for fraudulent purposes.
However, two years of apps like “Tinder” and “Grindr” have taught me that morals are almost non-existent. Perhaps this is ideal for singles whom rarely picture the moments that have yet to come: marriage, children, or promotions. These apps make discretion possible, and just like the location of these apps, we, too, can become a dirty secret. I could write individual papers alone on the married men who have enlightened my opinions of marriage. Moreover, I believe the generation I am growing up with continue to maintain a middle school students' attitude towards monogamy—meaning they can be flakey and nonchalant toward any serious relationship.
Ironically, our parents used to encourage us on our one men and women shows, where we would use relationships, children, and adulthood as a way to move our stories, but the patronizing “Go ons!” our parents made could easily have become a precursor to taking relationships with little seriousness. A few decades before smartphones and internet access, infidelity was a luxury very few would decide to commit themselves towards. But now the modern age has stumbled upon Pandora’s Box, with all of the most wretched dating sins materializing into the nightmares of both committed and single people alike.
With more doors opening, the millennial generation and beyond are taking advantage of the deceit they are using to begin polygamous relationships, omitting the consequences that can branch out from their indiscretions. While Cupid continues to fly the co-op, singles and partners can anticipate the quick decline of monogamy, eventually becoming a trend less worth risking.
Maybe another problem with my perception of marriage stems from the fear that my life will become one huge rehearsal with a lack of the ability to allow my imagination to run freely. When gay marriage was legalized, I was ecstatic for gay men to finally have fabulous weddings with the most extravagant food I could never pronounce, but I wonder if the world was doing us a favor by making marriage feel like a private club. It was beautiful to look at from the outside of the gates, but an outsider being let into a garden normally would not end with a happily ever after, whereas the exclusivity once provided grandeur. It felt like a secret I was aching to know all about, but once I knew, it felt like it lacked luster, ruining everything so glamorous I once thought of it.
Perhaps, then, I am becoming cynical faster than a kid should. I desperately want to see a future with another person; however, I fear this is just a precursor for yet another societal evolution. Monogamy and marriage are not the light at the end of the tunnel, but perhaps they are a passing train. The light at the end of the tunnel never promises to have a romantic partner, but it does offer a decent train ride.
