GPA.
It's three simple letters really. An acronym, not even a true word. GPA stands for Grade Point Average. It doesn't sound like a big deal, but put Adenine, Guanine, and Cytosine in the wrong order and strange things can happen. (For those confused people, the aforementioned things are parts of your DNA. And yes, my Human Bio class did just discuss genetics, why do you ask?)
School has always been "easy" for me. I've gotten good grades, probably since I started getting grades, with the high school flukes of Algebra 1 & 2 and statistics. Those aside, I've always done well. So well in fact that I became known as the brains of my family. My mom and dad both have introduced me as "the smart child." My mom calls me a grammar nazi. My friends have gotten frustrated because I start later or don't work as long but score better than them.
What no one often understands is that I HAVE to be smart. I NEED to get those good grades because, if I'm not classifiable as the smart child, what am I? I don't have any special talent or skill, aside from somehow turning a C- into an A by the final exam. If I don't maintain straight A's. what am I worth? What people don't see, what only I think my mother and fiance have seen to it's fullest extent is the absolute hell, some of which I create for myself, that I go through.
My mom has stayed up with my until late into the night, trying in vain to help me grasp the math problem that I was sobbing over, frustrated because I couldn't understand how to do it. With every large paper I am tasked to write, I find myself trying to work ahead, but then still winding up sitting there at one in the morning, feverishly writing a paper. I'm stressed and I'm tired, but the work must be done and thus I push. I do well. I get that A. This past week alone I have written not one but two 8-10 page papers. I tried to do them earlier, but I couldn't focus. The idea of such papers was overwhelming, and so, of course, I brilliantly put off overwhelming tasks as if somehow they would become easier.
I've learned that I create my best pieces of work under extreme stress. But lately, I've come to see that at times I create stress in order to perform well. I haven't slept well this entire week. Some nights that has been because of late night project completion, and sometimes it's been because I've just tossed and turned for hours on end.
What does my GPA mean to me? Too. Dang. Much.
The point of this article hasn't been to brag about my "successes" though I will admit to being prideful of my intelligence (as you can imagine) and it is not to commiserate with my fellows as we go into finals week.
My hope is to encourage you to place your values elsewhere. You are more than a grade point average. You are more than an SAT score or the grade you got on THAT final, you know, the one that terrified you the most of them all? Yeah, you're not defined by that. For the first time in at least a week, I relaxed tonight. I took time for myself and I had fun.
Grades are good, helpful even. Yet they shouldn't be your end goal. College is about learning and when you're learning it's okay to mess up. Try your best and be all that you can be, but know that at the end, it's okay if you miss it. Destroying your sanity for the sake of a letter grade, or for the even picky grade-grubbers like me the sake of a + over a - isn't worth it.
Take care of yourselves in these weeks to come. I've learned that college gets harder, but I'm getting smarter and sometimes there're mistakes to be made.
Say it with me:
Less than an A does not make me less than okay.
Getting a B, does not mean something is wrong with me.
Just managed a C, study more is all that it means.
A D is too far? Get help, it sounds hard.
An F? Change your major... JUST KIDDING. I couldn't think of a rhyme.
but yes friends, no grade, no not even an F, defines who you are.
I'm a child of God, and heaven has no entrance exams, save for a simple yes or no.
