Ever since the fourth grade, I have dedicated my life to the sport of fencing. Every day after school, I would finish my homework and go straight to practice for two hours, sometimes coming in early to teach beginner classes or referee bouts (matches). Close to every weekend was consumed by tournaments or participating in fencing camps.
On top of local tournaments, I traveled around the country constantly, competing in thirteen National Championship tournaments and four Junior Olympics.
I did all of this hard work not only because I loved the sport, but also because I thought fencing in college was my main goal. Turns out, I changed my mind.
When high school rolled around and fencing became a more serious commitment, all I ever heard was, “This will get you into college,” or “This tournament result will look good to the recruiters.” I began to think of fencing as a means of getting into college, rather than as the sport I fell in love with in the beginning.
I slowly put more and more pressure on myself to do well, and fencing became a source of stress. I’d constantly tell myself I could do better or that I should be spending even more time practicing.
My coaches highly encouraged me to fence in college, and all of my teammates’ goals were to fence on a division one college team as well. I thought since everyone else’s goal was to fence in college, mine should be too.
The day finally came when a Big Ten school offered me a spot on their Div 1 team (I’m not going to reveal the school for privacy reasons). Everyone was so excited! My teammates, my friends, my coaches, my parents. But not me.
After receiving that offer, I realized I had been following someone else’s dream. Of course, I loved fencing and still do, but spending my entire college career fencing was something I realized that I simply didn’t want to do. College sports are a huge commitment, and I realized I didn’t want to spend all of my time practicing and competing, continuing to put enormous amounts of pressure on myself. And that's O.K.
After I told everyone that I decided to decline the offer and not fence in college, I felt like I had let everyone down. Everyone would say, “Oh, I’m so sorry,” and I would hear around that people thought I was “dumb” for not taking such a great opportunity.
I’m not sorry about my decision. I have loved my college experience so far, and I know in my heart I made the right choice. I didn't want to pick my college based off of my sport. Sometimes, you need to follow your own heart and be O.K. with the fact that others might not agree with your decisions. Only you truly know what’s best for you.
Although I no longer regularly fence, the lessons I have learned from the sport will stay with me forever. I have learned how to lose gracefully, how to take constructive criticism and how to fight through pain and exhaustion. I have learned about determination, sportsmanship and hard work.
Fencing has allowed me to travel the country while doing what I love.
My teammates and coaches are now a part of my family, and I can’t thank them enough for their friendship and support. Fencing will always be a part of me, and I am forever grateful for it.
In life, someone’s dream may be different from your own dream, and that’s O.K.
