This article is not meant to make anyone feel bad about themselves or how they treat others. This just some information I have gathered throughout my very few years on this planet. This is what it feels like to be used, disposable.
We all know the feeling too well. The one of "they only talk to me when they have no one else." The feeling that racks our brains throughout the day; "do they really care." But yet we are terrified to say anything; to do something. We need them more than they need us. We rely on them while we are merely a backup plan.
Whether it is a relationship or a friendship; it still hurts the same. Realizing the person you love doesn't share the same heart-wrenching love you feel for them. Realizing they only want your time on their time and when you finally need to talk, when you're broken; they're too busy. Slowly they stop talking to you growing more distance, and then one day you are so far apart you no longer know the definition of "we, together, us." It's only "me, myself, and I." Or worse they found a new "we," a new "best friend."
You feel awful. You feel used, dirty perhaps. You feel as if no one is to be trusted and that you will forever be alone to fight the war we call life. They were your everything. They may not have defined your entire being, but they stole pieces of you when they left; when they pulled away. They used those pieces as if they were expendable as if they would grow back, or they could find more. We always seem to realize it when it's too late. It's months or years down the road where we start to feel the wear and tear because we've gone too long without fuel and are running on the fumes of hope.
I am not saying its easy, but it does get easier. You find ways to cope with the heartache; with your loss. You will grieve. It is an inevitable process we all go through at one time or another. You may do it by yourself, or you may find someone. Someone that truly cares, and wholeheartedly loves you for you.
This disposable feeling is normal. As unpleasing and disgusting as it feels, as if you have let yourself down, it is a part of life. We all feel it at one time or another; some stronger than others. Just know you are as important as you made that other person feel. You are as needed as much as you needed them. You are loved so, so, so much more than they loved you. You are irreplaceable.
