Two weekends ago, during the Iowa vs. Iowa State football game, I once again took up battle with my worst fear: heights. My fiancé and his dad invited me to come along for the rivalry game, and I said yes, believing I could do it. I’ve faced my fear plenty of times, and while I don’t think I’ll ever truly defeat it, I’m always up for a fight. So I went to the game, confident in my ability to sit through the entire game in the very high seats.
I made it through the first half.
I know, I know, to some it may not seem that big a deal, but to me it was. I made it through a whole half of a game before my body became too tense for me to deal with. My body locks up when I am up high, and the tension often becomes quite painful. At this point I have to move around in order to avoid more pain.
For some, the fear of heights is simply the fear of falling and severly hurting themselves. For me though, it is also the amount of space that is available. That’s why stadium seating is often awful for me, because there is very little space for me to move around. Having a lot of people around me also can cause panic when I am up high. These three factors can bring me to the upmost panic, and it’s certainly not fun.
I learned that I had this fear at the age of 7 or 8, when my family went to an Easter service for our church that was held at Vets Auditorium for the year. Our church has a rather large congregation, and we got there sort of late that year. This meant that we would be sitting in the “nose bleed section’ of the auditorium.
Little 8 year old me was not having this. As soon as we sat down, it was like my brain had finally clicked on and I learned of my fear of heights. I screamed and cried my head off until my mom finally took me down to the main level where we watched the sermon on a TV screen.
A dozen years later, and that fear still stays with me. Now that I’m older though, I don’t have as strong a reaction, even though my list of fears has grown. I am now aware that I’m afraid of being upside down and deep water. I know all these fears are irrational (except for maybe the deep water one since I can’t swim), but I have those fears. I can’t change myself to get over them, they’re just a part of who I am.
Plenty of people have irrational fears. Many of these fears are things that other people can’t understand. This misunderstanding can sometimes lead to disaster, as your friend teases you about something you truly can’t control. Our brains tell us we’re in danger when we face these fears, and we can’t tell it otherwise. So don’t make fun of someone when they say they won’t do something because they’re afraid. Just support them and say “That’s ok. We can do something else.”
