The most valuable relationship with a man should be the one you share with your father. The examples your father set, as a man, will have a huge influence on who you choose to be with in the dating world. Not every young woman is blessed to have a father in her life, but that does not diminish your queen qualities. You must learn where to place your crown, how high to set the bar for yourself and what to demand in respect. It is possible to do, without having to go through different heartbreaks and upsets in life.
It starts with recognizing the inner queen within yourself. Though it is easier to recognize great qualities in yourself when someone else is also pointing them out, if you don't see or believe in those qualities yourself, how will you put them to work?
A father can be absent because of many things and in many ways. Incarcerated, deceased, a workaholic, emotionally unavailable and more. As a young woman, your relationship with your father is the foundation of every other relationship you will have with a man. So what happens when you grow up without a dad? Does that mean you're doomed to life of confusion and clogged emotions? No, that means you have to put your guard up, tighten your thinking cap, lace up your boots and get ready to become a superwoman in this world.
Some woman argue it makes you more independent as a woman not having a father in your life. I disagree. If your mother is an independent woman, and say someone who does have a father in their life is an independent man, these qualities will most likely be passed down to their child. Determination and will power are both factors in independence. If the parents implement that in their child or model what independence is in front of their child, those are the behaviors that child will mimic. Not having a father as a young woman perhaps predisposes you to independence more than other young women, but if anything, also makes you more vulnerable and naive when you go out seeking adventure in the world. Independence can be developed, but that is after you have learned to deal with the issues that have followed his absence. In some cases it causes women to feel alone, targeted, more defensive and violent. Feelings of self-protection or over-aggression towards men can stem from the anger developed following her father's absence. What woman may call independent, another woman may call foolish. The saying of "I'll never need a man" is something that can be confused with liberation.
A parent, but most importantly a father, for a daughter reflects how the little girl sees herself. Your parents become your inner voice. As a young woman, your father helps scope your self-esteem and self-love for yourself. Without a father, the ideas of self-love and self-confidence are absent. How a young woman sees herself is reflected through her fathers eye's. Without that, her perception is tainted. Her idea of a loving relationship may be dysfunctional. After dealing with rejection, absence or lack of emotion from her father, it is easily for a high self-esteem can never be built up or easily broken. Psychologically, people tend to gravitate towards partners that are similar to their parents.
The absent father figure has also resulted in poor judgement. The image of yourself is already distorted, so now it becomes easier for men to creep their way in. It becomes hard to read people who are not genuine. That is hard for the average person, but imagine for someone who is searching for something. Women tend to search for what the never received from their father in a man. Studies across the world have shown the increase in domestic violence and behavioral problems in single-parent households. Women without a a father in their life, like stated before, pick up different feelings. Neglect can transform into the need of feeling wanted and cause one to become more vulnerable.
A father shows how a man should treat you, but any positive male figure in your life can do that as well. A father and daughter relationship is sacred, but a grandfather can also model the role of what a respectable man should be. An older brother can step up to the plate and model that role. Even a well respected mentor, an uncle or cousin. All in all, men, fathers across the world, the future of our queens rely on you. Yes, it is possible to be a great woman without having a father, but it sure is hard.
This article is not to diminish all of the hardworking, well-accomplished women who have paid the way for themselves without their fathers, but to bring attention to how important their guidance is. It is need.
As a woman, you can set that bar yourself. How much respect you are deserving of, who is worthy of being with you and more. You must know your worth and know that you are worthy of being loved. Recognize your values as a woman. Do you value education? Don't settle for someone who doesn't respect your care about the school systems. Know that your values are to be respected; don't let anyone diminish them. As women, have morals, and don't let any man persuade you into doing something you disagree with. Have an assertive mindset. You know what you believe in and that's that. Limit yourself. Don't give yourself away to the world. My mentor always told me the less I see of a woman, the more I want her. Not saying to go trying to be super mysterious to attract men, but don't flaunt your body and go against your own morals don't gain that attention either.
If something isn't helping you grow, it is draining you. People can become leeches and drain you of everything you have to give—love, kindness, compassion, assets, knowledge or anything. As a woman, set that tolerance for yourself. Know your limit. Know what you will allow. Regardless of age, relationships are not mandatory. It is OK to be by yourself. You have to learn to love the comfort of self; never become co-dependent on a person or the idea of having someone else there.
You can crown yourself, Queen. Never diminish your self-worth. Learn to allow yourself grow, accept your flaws, past and people for who they truly are. Though a daddy- daughter relationship is vital in a young woman's life, it is extremely possible to still become a queen and find that crown on your own. Good luck to all of my young women without fathers or male figures in their life. Keep your guard up.
