December 2014 -- I found myself on an old yoga mat at Leap Yoga with my gypsy-souled mother. I had previous experience with yoga; however, it was purely as a means of recovery for my rigorous Cross Country and Rowing workouts. It has been through much sweat, many smiles, some tears, and the cultivation of countless relationships with yoga teachers and other students that I have begun to build upon a life that fully embodies my unique self.
In Western civilization, many people may think of yoga as a bunch of hippies in a hot room doing weird movements and chanting like cavemen, others may think of trendy men and women sitting on a beach tranquilly as they meditate. However, the origin of yoga is far more complex than these perceptions. Nicolai Bachman, a Sanskrit scholar, noted, “Yoga is much broader than just asana… It’s really a way of life”.
Between the second century BCE and fifth century CE, philosophers came together to develop The Yoga Sutra. This work essentially outlined in an eight-limb path how yogis may cleanse and enlighten the mind and body. The first two limbs do not even discuss physical movement. The first limb, the yamas, or social restraints, and the second limb, the niyamas, or self-disciplines, are ethical principles for how we interact with others and ourselves. Carol Brown, a vinyasa yoga teacher and psychotherapist, stressed the importance of connecting the physical practice of yoga with an awareness of the spiritual benefits associated with yoga: “Practicing the ethical codes from every prospective helps fortify the concepts within the body and the mind… And what you practice, you become”
The first yama, ahimsa, is where I have experienced the most growth. Ahimsa refers to “nonviolence” in both physical action and in thoughts towards others and ourselves. When I began yoga, I noticed I was most satisfied with the easier poses, such as Warrior One and Tree, because I was successful. However, when presented with difficult poses like Humble Warrior and Revolved Half Moon, I shamed myself for not executing them correctly. As I grew in my understanding of ahimsa, I learned how the negative judgments I placed on myself were both harmful and unnecessary – telling myself I was not strong enough to do a pose would not make it any easier. Over time I discovered how to face pain and opposition on my yoga mat gracefully, washing out negative energy with positive encouragement; my thoughts became my teammates rather than my enemies.
“I live life in the present, I reflect, and I do this especially when I am holding my asanas, and that’s what keeps me refreshed.” This is a quote from B.K.S. Iyengar, the founder of Iyengar Yoga as well as Ashtanga, the latter being the foundation of several practices of yoga still present today. Iyengar also wrote Light on Yoga, still considered a primary source of information for asana practice. This quote speaks to me personally on how my belief in yoga has influenced my awareness of mental health. It is through the practice of yoga that I now see clearly. Each pose in a flow works separately to create more space in different parts of my body as I stretch, but the entire practice, binding many flows together, works cohesively to create space in my mind. This mindful cleansing allows me to “dust” the areas of my life in which I struggle, and to live in a way that reflects my truth. Enlightened teachers guide me in my yogic journey to better understand the practice. In a similar way, I believe when I make life choices that are authentic to me, others feel compelled to do the same. Awareness spreads awareness, and authenticity is valuable.
Through yoga, I have found, and continue to search for, my genuine self. I am authentic because I know I am not perfect. I still doubt myself, my nothing-but-best personality gets the better of me, and I sometimes try to juggle too much. However, like taking a deep breath, wiping the sweat, and re-balancing myself on one foot once fallen out of a yoga pose, I will choose ahimsa. I will choose to be kind to myself rather than violent. And this will not make me fail; it will make me prosper.
