There are hundreds of people out there today who suffer from some form of anxiety or depression. This person could be living next door to you. They could be your sister, your brother, your best friend, your parents. You may never know because emotional disabilities are so internal and therefore, difficult to see. More than that, most people who struggle with these try very hard to keep them hidden. Is this healthy? Maybe not. But there is a reason they think this way.
Fear of people thinking exactly what they do
Nobody is harder on people with anxiety or depression than the victims are. Every moment of panic or despair is overwhelmed with thoughts of "I should be better than this?", "I'm so stupid.", "I'm just pathetic and worthless.", etc. They always feel like they're not justified in feeling what they do and are somehow defiled because of it. There's a great fear that if they open up to others about what they feel, everyone else will be just as hard on them as they are. It's not true - I'm not even sure it's possible - but it feels true. They feel weak and judged by themselves, so why wouldn't everyone else feel the same way?
Is this even real?
Disabilities of any sort are difficult to live with, but emotional disabilities are especially so because you rarely have physical evidence that anything is actually wrong. You can't go to the doctor, get an x-ray or some blood tests done and find out that you have an infection somewhere or that you're just not getting enough protein in your diet. The only proof you have is what you feel. Is that enough? Take anxiety, for example. Sometimes, anxiety problems can be created and developed in a person as a defense against reality. Their mind makes them anxious in certain situations so as to protect them from things that have been painful to them in the past. In moments like these, how can this person know that what they're feeling is real and that they're not just faking it to get out of doing something uncomfortable? When you're constantly second-guessing the legitimacy of your own pain, how are you supposed to admit to anyone else that you're feeling it?
Fear of burdening others with it
Emotional disorders are hard and painful to live with, but this isn't just for the person who has it. Anyone who has ever cared for someone with anxiety or depression can testify how difficult it can be. You want to make it better, you want to make it go away, but you can't. All you can really do is be there for them when it hits and support them until the worst of it passes. This isn't easy. Its hard to watch someone you care about suffer like that, and it's stressful. As much of a burden, it is for those who have to actually carry it, it's nearly just as heavy for those around them. They know this. Sometimes, it seems selfish to spread around the burden you have to carry by sharing it with others. Wouldn't it just be better to keep it to yourself?
Shame
Imagine you're at work. Everything's going well and good when suddenly, you get a stabbing pain through your chest. You start to feel dizzy, everything seems to get louder, brighter, and your heart is beating so fast it could almost break your sternum. You can't work anymore. So you go to your boss and ask if it's alright if you leave early. He asks you why. Why? Because you don't feel good. When painful emotions hit full force, it can make it nearly impossible to function, and sometimes it's all you can do to stay on your feet and keep from throwing up. It interferes with your daily life, but admitting that can be humiliating. It's embarrassing to have to admit to someone that you have little control over your emotions, that they're tearing you apart, and you can't function anymore. There aren't many who will look well on you for that, so it's awful to have to say.
Nobody understands it anyway
Whether you have an emotional disability or not, they don't make any sense. There is no logical path they take you down and no rationality that makes you feel what you do. If you're out there feeling completely baffled by everything I've been saying so far, don't worry. You're not alone. Emotional disabilities are very hard to understand, especially since its different for everyone. There's really no way to know what it's like without having experienced it yourself. It can't be described because no words are adequate. But it's still out there. The sad thing is if you haven't experienced it, it's too easy to not take it seriously. Those who don't understand it will often brush it off as "not a big problem" when it really is, but how exactly do you go about explaining that? Nobody understands it, so sometimes it's just easier to suffer alone and quietly.
There's nothing wrong with being emotionally disabled, or disabled in any way. But knowing that doesn't make it easier to live with. When you're walking down the street, or a school hallway, or even to the restroom at work, you may have no way of knowing if the people you pass on your way are hurting inside. It’s a quiet and lonely sort of suffering they're going through. So what's the solution? What can you do to try to make things a little easier for them, just in case they need it?
Just be kind. Be wholly and endlessly kind to everyone. It doesn't matter whether they look like they need it or not. Even those who aren't emotionally disabled need someone to be kind to them. Kind people make others feel better about themselves, so that's all I ask. Smile more. Smile often. Say "thank you" whenever you can. Find things to compliment in others (because trust me, there's always something to compliment, even if you have to look a little harder for it). Just. Be. Kind. You'd be amazed how much something as simple as that can make a difference.
