There's A Difference Between Being Blunt And Being Rude

There's A Difference Between Being Blunt And Being Rude

Stop hiding your poor manners behind a word.
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If there’s one thing that makes my blood boil, it’s constant, unapologetic bitchiness.

It’s people who say mean or hurtful things and don’t care how it affects other people. They don’t care if other people take offense to what they say; they just want to be on top and make their power known.

What’s even more obnoxious than this kind of person is one who makes excuses for their behavior to establish more dominance. The most common one: “I’m just blunt.”

“Blunt” is a word people most commonly use to describe themselves if they speak their mind without hesitation. It’s how people explain their straightforwardness. They usually take great pride in this trait. What many of these people don’t realize – or even choose not to accept – is that it’s not an acceptable excuse for rudeness.

There is a huge difference between being blunt and mean. Bluntness is not being afraid to be straightforward about something, while still being considerate of the other person’s feelings. It’s not beating around the bush with what you want to say.

Being blunt does not mean being overtly inconsiderate. If you say something without considering how it will affect another person – or say it and not care – then you’re not being blunt; you're just mean. Even if it’s not sugarcoated, “bluntness” is not the way to excuse disrespect.

No matter who you talk to, it’s important to be respectful. This trait is pushed from a young age, but somewhere along the way, people seem to forget what it actually means. They believe they can stop being respectful simply because they’re around people they know. Some will stop being respectful because they don’t like a person or the way they’re being treated.

This lack of respect means not considering how one’s actions or words affect another person. It means using attitude and statements that can be seen as hurtful or degrading, and doing things that establish dominance over another person. People are under the impression that this behavior is perfectly acceptable when in all honesty it’s one of the worst behaviors a person can have.

Nobody should be allowed to manipulate the meaning of a word because they then exempt themselves from the consequences of having nasty manners. One cannot play around and use different words to label themselves simply because they want to get away with a false image. It’s not only misleading, but means they’re being held unaccountable for their actions.

Being blunt is usually a mixture of confidence and consideration. It’s being unafraid to say something while still being courteous of how the other person will feel.

Being rude but hiding it behind the word blunt is weak. It’s not owning up to the fact that what’s being said is harsh and not being a decent enough person to respect other people. Rude people are awful, but those who try to get away with it-- and demand respect-- are even worse.

Cover Image Credit: Bustle

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Things To Know Before Dating A Firefighter

You'll learn how to tell the difference between different kinds of sirens.
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There are just certain things you are going to want to know before dating a fireman. In my experience, I had to learn along the way. But at the end of all the calls, constantly smelling his gear in the car and sometimes even cancelled plans, I sure do love my firefighter!

SEE ALSO: 10 Reasons To Date A Country Boy

You were promised a list, so here it is:

1. If they are even within 20 minutes of the station, they will always leave you to go on a call.

No matter the circumstances, if you have a fireman on your hands, he will jet to the car and be on his way.

SEE ALSO: What It's Like To Date A Police Officer

2. Meeting nights are not something you try and fight with them about. They are going to leave and you do not have to like it because it wasn't up to you anyway.

I have learned that these nights are not optional. Yes, other people miss them, but not my firefighter.

3. No matter where you are or what you're doing the minute they hear a firetrucks horn, they're looking for it and hoping they're not missing anything good.

You will learn the lingo. Structures, fully involved (the good stuff) smoke alarms, cat in a tree (ehh I mean they are fireman...soooo still good stuff).

4. They know the exact difference between an ambulance, cop, and, of course, a fire truck siren.

Which means that you will have to learn, too.

5. You’ll have to accept that when he has to do hall rental cleanup, you're going with to help.

You fold the chairs and he stacks them. And Im talking at like 12 a.m.,1 a.m.

6. When you come around the firehouse, there will be jokes made and they'll mess with him about you or even you about him.

Honestly it's a giant bromance going on and they prey on this kinda stuff.

7. At first, you won't really have a name to the fire guys. Until you're around long enough.

You'll just be Boyfriend's name's girlfriend.

8. The fire pager goes where he goes.

Next to the bed, in the car, next to your bed, your living room, EVERYWHERE. And even if it's not the real pager, it's the dog app that I can never remember the name of so dog app it is. (Say that really fast to get the full effect).

9. They will probably wear their station shirt/apparel at least 4-5 days a week.

AT LEAST.

10. If you've got a good one, you're always put first. The list will always go "You, the firehouse, me, everyone else."

But secretly they always want to put the firehouse first.

11. You will learn and know more stations, trucks, members, and chiefs than you will ever want to admit.

Unbelievably true.

12. When you're driving and you see a fire station, you'll have to look at it.

If its an amazing building, you'll have to remember the name. And then you'll have to tell him about it. And then you've just proved number 11 correct. Add it to your list.

13. Never make plans while he's on a call. You can never know when he'll be back.

Even if the calls are short, they could stay at least another hour washing the trucks and being boys, of course.

14. In case you didn't understand the severity of the first one, if you are on the phone and you hear the pager go off in the background, just tell him you love him and hang up.

Because if you don't, he will. "Got a call, Love you, bye." Mid-sentence is always what you want to hear.

15. You'll never want to watch "Ladder 49" again.

You will cry like a baby and then want to make him quit.

16. Outside of the stations, fireman tend to forget that fire isn't a toy and it's pretty damn hot.

*Playing with the lighter fluid or burning things on the stove*
"No it's alright, I'm a firefighter."

17. You will start your own station shirt collection.

From NYFD memorial shirts, a station from where you're vacationing even acquired old shirts of his, you will have started your own pile of station shirts.

18. You can't get angry or upset when he is unavailable because he's going to go to the firehouse for the fifth time that week, or if there's another fire prevention thing to do.

You can't be mad because he's doing what he loves and also because a man in a uniform isn't too shabby.

There are a lot more things to know before dating a fireman, but the rest you'll just have to learn along the way.

SEE ALSO: 5 Things To Know Before Dating Someone With Anxiety

Cover Image Credit: Pinterest

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Please, If You're Somehow Still Using The 'R Word'— Leave That Habit In 2018

Come on guys, its 2018. Google a new word.

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Maybe it was because I witnessed two boys get in trouble in elementary school for using this word as an insult. Maybe it's because I fell in love with a thing called Camp Able. Maybe it's because one of my best friends is a special ed major. Or maybe it's because I try to be a decent human being. I do not use the R word.

Until this past semester, I hadn't really heard anyone use it often despite one encounter in 6th grade. Most of my best friends I have met while serving at places like Camp Able or Camp Bratton Green where summers are dedicated to people with diverse-abilities. I think having been surrounded with like minded people for so long made me forget that some people still use it as an expression. Let me tell you, it's annoying.

The word itself has been brushed off even in a "scientific" sense. It means to be slowed down, but it has stretched far beyond that meaning and has turned into an insult. It's an insult of comparison. Like any word, the power behind it is given by the user and most times, the user uses it demean another person. It's like when you hear someone say "that's gay". Like, what? Why is that term being used in a derogatory sense? Why is someone's sexuality an insult? Hearing someone use the R word physically makes me cringe and tense up. It makes me wonder what truly goes on in someone's mind. People will argue back that it's "just a word" and to "chill out", but if it was just a word, why not use something else? There is a whole world full of vocabulary waiting to be used and you're using something that offends a whole community. Just because you don't care, it does not mean it shouldn't matter. Just use a different word and avoid hurting a person's feeling, it really is just that simple. There is not a good enough reason to use it.

I volunteer at two summer camps: Camp Bratton Green and Camp Able. If you know me, I talk nonstop about the two. More realistically, if you know me, it's probably because I met you through one of the two. Even before I was introduced to the love at Camp Able, I still knew that this was a word not to use and it never crossed my mind to think of it. The history behind the r-word goes back to describe people with diversabilities but because of the quick slang pick up it was sort of demoted from the psychology world. Comparing someone or something that is negative to a word that you could easily avoid speaks volumes about who you are as a person. The word is a word, but it is subjective in its meaning and in its background.

Just stop using it.

A List of Objective Words/Phrases to Use:

Fool/Foolish

Blockhead

Nincompoop

Silly

Ludicrous

Dim-witted

Trivial

Naive

"A few beads short on the rosary"

"On crack or something"

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