This week has been a rollercoaster of emotions.

On Monday, I was hopeful. I was able to inform students around campus where to go to vote or to receive rides to polling locations. I urged people not to vote third party, that the only choice in the matter was either Donald Drumpf or Hillary Clinton.

On Tuesday, I watched the news in fear, knowing that Florida, a key swing state was red. I spent hours surrounded by Republicans, trying to debate with them why they shouldn't have voted for Drumpf. I could hardly put any point through because the six of them talked over each other and put words in my mouth, making it impossible to refute all of their statements with facts. What surprised me the most was that these were educated women. I assumed that women would be against Drumpf from the start, especially since he admitted to a history of sexually assaulting women and because his running-mate Mike Pence went on a tirade against Planned Parenthood and women while he was Governor of Indiana. I was told that sexual assault was locker room talk, that children who hear what their bigoted parents say and repeat it--children who don't know any better--is a normal thing and that it was to be expected. I was told that Hillary Clinton, a woman who has spent her entire life in politics, was a scarier and less experienced woman than Drumpf, a man who only took up politics as a hobby two years ago. I was only able to go to bed that night knowing that if Clinton won the rest of the states, she would have been president.

On Wednesday, I woke up in shock; Drumpf, a bigoted, racist, sexist, homophobic, hypocritical, misogynist, elitist man won the presumptive electoral college. This was not the man I voted for. On top of that, the rest of the government was controlled by Republicans. I couldn't get out of bed immediately. For me, a country run by Republicans and racists means that the things I receive now, such as medicine and the right to equal work as men, is in jeopardy. For my roommate and many other students on campus, their future lives are in danger because they are now hated by their government just because they are not white, are not Christian, or do not fit the heteronormative mindset about sexuality or gender. I went to class, but I wasn't happy. One of my teachers even cut class short due to her overwhelming disappointment over the outcome of the election and the future we Millennials were forced to receive. Drumpf didn't even win the popular vote, it was Clinton. But it didn't matter.

On Thursday, I was angry. I was angry with the people who voted third party. If all the people who voted for Gary Johnson in Florida voted for Clinton, she would have won Florida. If no one threw away their vote and voted for Clinton, she would have had 90 more electoral votes and would have been President. I was angry with the people who voted for Drumpf solely because "Not Hillary." What would Hillary have done that would have negatively impacted people? Nothing unless they're rich, and only then, it would have been raised taxes. I was angry with the people who voted for Drumpf because Drumpf never had a platform, never had a policy, never tweeted anything, that wasn't connected to hate. I was angry with the people who voted for him because "He's a good business man," because they ignored his bankruptcies, his human trafficking, his inability to pay taxes, his fraud, and his inability to properly invest his money. I was angry with the people who told me to my face that Drumpf was not racist, not homophobic, not ableist, not sexist, not a rapist. I was angry when they demanded I showed them proof, gave it to them, and was told that I was wrong. I was and still am very angry.

Today, Friday, I am all of the emotions this past week has given me and I am focused. I am still hopeful for the future. November 28 is Drumpf's Trump University Fraud trial. December 16 is his sexual assault trial. For both of these events, Drumpf could be arrested and therefore ineligible of ever becoming president. Even if he is not arrested, Drumpf will never be able to do that which he promised: for his first two years, Drumpf will be a puppet to the Republican party because of his lack of experience; for his second two, Drumpf will be campaigning for his next four. Drumpf will be miserable because he will be forced to serve the people of the United States. When he ultimately fails and commits a crime against the state, he will be impeached.

I am afraid of my future and the future of my fellow Americans, those who are here legally, undocumented, or are only here until their countries are safe. I am afraid for my siblings in the LGBTQIA+ family. I am afraid for my future as a woman and for what I am allowed to do to my body. I am afraid for my future and for everyone else's too.

I am still shocked. This won't go away for a long time. The uneducated people of this nation voted Drumpf into power. The uneducated people will continue to vote fascists into power, especially because there are so many educated and working men, women, and nonbinary people who's votes are suppressed for the first time in 50 years. I am shocked that a progressive country with a rich history of overcoming racism, sexism, and homophobia has erased (currently) 60 years of history with the possibility of more progress being destroyed under this upcoming regime. (Note: Please look at the trending tweets of #RepealThe19th, the amendment which allows women the right to vote.)

I am angry and I will always be angry. The people of America hated women so much that they would elect a man who knows nothing over the most overqualified candidate in history. I am angry over the disrespect shown to me and to everyone else in this nation. This anger will be my fire and will keep me going through these awful next four years.

And so I leave off with this: be focused on the future. Most of you are now hated by your government. Your government wants to remove your rights and remove you from the country. They want you dead. You have to live. You have to be loud and vocal and in public. You have to be strong because the media will come against you, because people will say your word means nothing because of your gender and burn pride flags and pull on hijabs and tell you to move to a country you haven't been to in years or that you've never been to because you were born here. This is the moment where we either rise above the hate that we will be subjected to, or our nation falls under this regime.

And for those of you wishing our next president dead, Mike Pence is far worse than Donald Drumpf could ever be.