I am probably the biggest "Sex and the City" fan I know. I have the complete series (including both movies, and commentary) on DVD in a limited edition gift set, I have memorized almost every line of every episode, and have long debated whether I am a Carrie or a Charlotte. As the most dedicated fan that I know, I obviously have a handful of favorite quotes. Among which is the ever popular, “Maybe our girlfriends are our soulmates, and guys are just people to have fun with.” I always loved this quote, and have always referred to my friends as soul mates, however recently I got to thinking... Was Carrie Bradshaw wrong?
When I was younger, this quote spoke to my soul. It made perfect sense, because boys can always screw you over, or leave, or perhaps don’t want the same things that you do, but your friends get you. They’re never leaving, they make you laugh until you cry, and force you to eat ice cream and pizza when you’ve been heartbroken. They read your mind, and they love you unconditionally. A secondary reason I thought this quote was everything, is because I’m not sure if I believe in soul mates. I don’t know if I believe that there is some specific person for every person. Honestly, I don’t know if we should put our source of happiness and fulfillment in anyone else, whether it be through your friendships, or a relationship with a partner. Don’t get me wrong, my friends are the most important people in my life. I laugh with them, I cry with them, I eat too much mac 'n’cheese with them, and my friendships are incredibly fulfilling. My friends are my everything; however, my friends are not my soulmates.
I think I’m about to sound incredibly narcissistic, but I am my own soulmate. I am ever changing. I am the one who can motivate myself to do better, work harder, laugh louder, love deeper. I am the one who enriches my own life, with my ideas, and my sense of humor, and my inner monologue as I walk awkwardly alone to class, uphill and out of breath. Why would we put our source of happiness on another person? Why would we trust someone else with something so fundamental to our entire lives? That is no one else’s responsibility but our own.
I create my own happiness, and then share that happiness with everyone. I don’t need anyone else to make me happy, I don’t need a man to be my soulmate, I need him to be supportive of my independence. I don’t need my friends to be my soulmates, I need them to be my friends. I don’t need anyone else to be my soulmate, because I have myself, and I’m not going anywhere.
Thinking about this quote, that I once considered among my favorites, another famous Carrie quote comes to mind -- one that I think may have taken the top spot in my "Sex and The City" quote contest. You can’t rely on someone else to be your soulmate, because when it comes down to it “the most exciting, challenging and significant relationship of all is the one you have with yourself.”
