Hello, my name is Tiffany, I am a twenty-year-old average college student just trying to make it by. I am also recently single. I met someone when I was thirteen years old and made him my boyfriend and singular source of happiness until I was twenty. That’s right, I have been in a relationship practically my entire life. While I don’t regret the time I spent with him and the memories we have I can now see that this was obviously not healthy.
I let my boyfriend be my singular source of happiness. If he was sad, I was sad. If he was angry, I was angry. If he was in a bad mood, I was in a bad mood. There were times where this relationship was long distance and it is really crazy looking back now at the fact that even when we were apart he dictated my mood.
This is not bashing him or saying he was awful, he wasn’t, and he isn’t. We both did things we shouldn’t have and I have no resentment towards him. In the end, I am the one who knew what was going on and stayed anyways.
Happiness is not something you find through someone else. You can, and frankly, it is quite easy to find yourself doing just that. I challenge you to take a step back, and ask yourself who you would be without that person in your life. If the thought of that scares you, then it's time to walk away. Having a significant other in your life should not be a need it should be a want. Now I realize that this is an extremely strong statement and there are people that don’t agree with that, and that is okay.
The thing is, I am not talking about the grief of a breakup. I am referring to the fact that if you do not know who you are or would be without this person, that’s a dangerous place to be. We all want a secure yet tangible relationship but the reality is secure is just a word. In these days even taking an oath is nothing but going through the motions. In this world, nothing is safe.
Nothing but the fact that you are the ONLY you there is and will ever be.
I see all these sassy post on social media about 'I don't need no man' that hundreds of girls will repost. Yes, I used to be one of 'those girls' who would retweet that then turn around and text bae looking for comfort and attention. The truth is, if I really meant and believed that statement my actions would show it. The retweet alone isn't going to make you feel that way unfortunately.
I urge you to take control of your life and your happiness. Whatever it is in your life that you feel you may need to re-evaluate. If you cant stand alone and still be content and happy then you have no business depending on someone or something else for happiness.
True and ever lasting happiness is only tangible when it comes from within.
