I am proud to say I grew up in Western Massachusetts. Before you ask how close to Boston I am, considering thats apparently the only landmark in Mass, I am about as far away as you can get from Boston. I didn't grow up "just outside the city", but I know how to drive like I did. Massachusettsians are an unreasonably proud group of people and I have quickly discovered we have our own slang and habits that make us a little distinct from the rest of the New Englanders. Heres a little list to name a few:
1. Blinkers are for people who don't know how to drive.
Everyone from Mass is a pro-driver and you need not forget it. We aren't afraid to cut across 5 lanes of traffic in a single swoop to get off an exit, and we assume everyone knows where we are going, even as we blare past a Statie going way too fast.
2. Embrace Brady
Everyone stops at the packie before watching the GOAT, our Lord and Savior, Tom Brady. If you don't love the Patriots, Bruins, Red Sox, or Celtics, we have a little secret hatred for you. These teams are the ones to live by and we have no other opinion.
3. "Wicked"
Wicked. For the last time, wicked is basically a synonym for very, but we use it with everything because saying very is boring.
4. Drop F Bombs
Its every other word in our sentence. I don't mean to be offensive, but there it f***ing is.
5. Dunkin' Donuts
It is a part of the nutritional food pyramid and is the only thing that gets a true Masshole through the week. If you don't make a Dunkies run at least twice a day, were you really born and raised in Mass? Plus, we acknowledge that ice coffee is acceptable year-round. Period.
6. Find Your Inner Accent
Everyone has a Boston accent. It doesn't matter what part of the state you originate from, you have a little bit of Boston accent in them.
7. Neil Diamond, All the Way
Every Masshole knows Sweet Caroline by heart. At home watching the game, or on the Green Monster at Fenway, everyone sings along.
8. Potholes, So Many Potholes
The state roadways are taken over by a combination of potholes and rotaries. Not traffic circles, or roundabouts. Plus, if you haven't lost your car in a pothole after the snowplows destroy the road we just fixed the past summer, you don't know what winter is.
9. Bubblers, not Fountains
Everyone drinks from the bubbler, not the water fountain. Because water fountains are decorative things you toss in your front yard if you don't know how to decorate.
10. Massachusetts: The Home of Sarcasm
Sarcasm was founded in Mass, and you can tell by our frequent use. This typically deems us as "Massholes" but hey, if you think its wicked rude, go fly a kite.
