Imagine waking up in the morning and not being able to turn the lights on for about ten minutes until your headache from sleep alone is gone. That is, if it ever really leaves at all that day. And then when you do finally decide to turn the lights on, you have to keep your eyes slightly closed so that it isn't so sudden and intense. The next five minutes after you turn your lights on consist of you trying to remember what you're supposed to do next and then figuring out how much time you have to get it all done.
So if your day goes well, you remember that you need to take all of your meds followed by informing your mother that you're getting into the shower. You tell her because when your head is always pounding and when it take so long to process what you're doing, you sometimes lose track of time. There is also the chance you could get sick from some of the medicine you're on or have a seizure because the sequence your doctor is trying is still not quite right yet.
After the shower you brush your teeth, focusing on the balls of your feet so that you don't you can stay balanced while jarring your head slightly with every brush stroke. After this deed is done, you move on to blow drying your hair while sitting because it's harder to focus on balancing while using a blow dryer.
After you get your hair done and make up done, you proceed to the kitchen. You may not usually eat breakfast when you're healthy, but you definitely need to now to make sure that your brain has enough fuel for the day and as well as to keep your medicine down.
Next, you look at your schedule for the day. Because your doctor wants you to rest as much as possible, you're going to school for only half the time a healthy student goes. You wince when you see Spanish III and Pre-Calculus as the two classes that you're allowed to go to today. Spanish is the worst. You already have trouble processing what people are saying to you in English, but now you have to think about what you want to say, translate it, and then say it. This is followed by a reply that is also in Spanish, which you will probably have to have repeated a million times or maybe even written out so that yo don't fall behind. Pre-Calculus isn't much better. Circle graphs, mathematically processing, and probably application problems that you will stare at for five minutes before raising your hand to ask for your teacher to clarify.
Thankfully, after two classes you are done with school for the day. You can now leave... after sitting in the nurses office for about ten minutes waiting for your grandparents to pick you up. Oh, did we mention you're not allowed to drive in case you were to fall asleep behind the wheel or possibly not be able to focus on the road from too bad of a head ache?
As soon as you get to your grandparents' house you go to the bedroom and take a nap. It literally takes you five seconds to fall asleep because three and a half hours of constant exertion is just too much. The nap only lasts until your mom gets off of work for lunch though. Because at that time you have to run to cognitive therapy, vestibular therapy, and possibly a biweekly doctor's appointment. Sometimes it is a combination of them. And let me tell you, the nap you just took isn't going to prepare you near enough!
After probably three more solid hours of therapy and appointments where you are forced to watch a pen move in front of your face, relearn how to remember things, and close your eyes and try to not fall over while just standing there, you are able to finally return home. Driving back past your school where you see your friends moving their cars after class to get ready for practice.
That sometimes hurts worse than your never-ending headaches: the connections lost and relationships that will be permanently severed from lack of interactions. You can't go to practice to even watch them because it is too dangerous for you. You can't go to a game to even interact because the noise is too loud. Your teammates don't consider you a part of the team anymore because you can't be there to explain what you're really going through. You aren't allowed on the phone, you can't watch TV because it is too much brain stimulation. You're just lonely until mom and dad come home from work or your boyfriend or friends who really believe there is something wrong with you decide they want to come see you.
Arriving back at home you have all your homework laid out on the floor ready to do. It should all probably take hours, but by doctors orders you can only do about thirty to forty-five minutes a day so that you don't over work your brain. You never thought you would be upset to be told that you can't do as much homework as the other students, but at this point all you are hoping for is to be normal again soon.
The word 'normal' has become you and your family's ultimate goal. Throughout this unfortunate time, that is what you are farthest from. You will never be the 'normal you' again. Ever. Forget it. It won't happen. This experience will change you for life. You will always suffer from 'post-concussion syndrome.' No matter how made up that sounds, believe it. It's real. The way you look at life, the way you learn, the way you treat people. This is all part of the 'new normal you.' Isn't that funny? How a little bump on the head can make everything so much harder for you?
