For the last five or six years, depression has been a pretty significant part of my life. Middle school, one of the indisputably most awkward and transitional periods in every adolescent's life, was made even more difficult due to the initial onset of a struggle that I had yet to encounter.
My high school years were spent mostly just existing, not even really living, and certainly not thriving. However, the summer before my freshman year of college, I made a very active choice: I would battle this monster called depression. It would no longer steal my joy or passion or creativity. I would win. Maybe not once and for all, but I promised myself that I would emerge victorious from the daily battles. So, without any further exposition, here are my 10 pieces of advice for those who desire more out of life than an unhappy coexistence with depression.
Find at least one person who knows the intimate details of your struggle.
This person can be a member of your family, a close friend, or anyone with open ears, an open mind, and an open heart. A good friend can help keep you accountable while remaining sensitive to your experiences. Communicate with this individual about the things that trigger negative feelings. I understand how difficult it can be to allow someone into your mind, especially because you yourself might not understand everything in it, but remember, a problem shared is a problem halved.
Surround yourself with uplifting people.
Not everyone that you meet has to know everything about your mental health struggles if that's not something you're comfortable with. However, it is important to build relationships with people who are kind and encouraging. Find people who make you want to experience new things and live life to the fullest. People are meant to develop relationships, and it is absolutely vital to be in a community if you have any sort of vulnerability to depression.
Invest in things that matter to you.
This one's a little more vague. Because things matter differently to different people. But here's the gist: if you love to dance, then dance. If you love to volunteer, find every community service opportunity possible. If you're passionate about something, pursue it. Doing the things that you love will make you feel productive and important.
Do your best not to back out of commitments.
Out of every tip on this list, this is one of the hardest for me personally. On days when you're feeling particularly exhausted or empty, it's easy to send a text message to let a friend know that you won't be coming anymore. Do your absolute best not to do this. Getting out of your house or dorm or bed is the best thing for you.
Be vocal!
There are a lot of people in this world who will tell you to keep your problems to yourself. Here's my advice: ignore them. Speak up. If necessary, find a mental health professional and spill everything that's in your heart and mind. Do not be afraid to talk about the things you're experiencing.
Remember that you are not alone.
Almost 10% of Americans suffer from depression. There are almost 20 million people experiencing some of the things that you're going through. It's easy to convince yourself that no one else could possibly understand, or you're somehow weird or wrong. You're not. Find comfort in the fact that the thoughts going through your mind have probably been in someone else's head too.
Don't be afraid to maintain big dreams.
Depression is a thief. It can often make you feel like you can't achieve anything noteworthy or worthwhile. That is a lie. It sounds cliche, but there really isn't much that's outside of your grasp as long as you're willing to work for what you want. But depression doesn't disqualify you from being an incredible person. You're valuable and special. Dream and set goals accordingly.
Educate yourself.
One of the most detrimental things you can do is convince yourself that what you're experiencing isn't real or valid. The best way to combat this myth is to do your research. Make yourself aware of exactly what you're facing. Also, get to know your version of depression. It affects everyone slightly differently, so get to know what helps and what hurts. Write it down. Validate it. Just make sure you know what you're up against.
Do the best you can to make health-conscious choices.
I might sound like a nutritionist trying to convince you to lose weight, but I assure you I am not. Your body is entirely biochemical. Everything that you put into it has an impact. Eat clean, natural foods. You'll find that you have more energy and your whole body will feel better. It is also very important to exercise. I don't necessarily think you have to endure a vigorous workout to be healthy, but get moving. Go for a walk, dance, play football with friends. It doesn't matter. Get out into the sunshine and enjoy the endorphins! You'll be so thankful that you did.
Be kind to yourself.
Some days will be significantly harder than others. There will be moments that feel like losing. That is a part of depression. But there is some good news: ebbs and flows are a part of life. Don't beat yourself up over a day when you cancelled plans or avoided homework because just the thought of it was exhausting. Celebrate the small victories. And remember, life happens one day at a time. If one set of 24 hours doesn't go well, pick yourself up by the bootstraps and get ready for the next one. It's up to you to make it better.
I don't claim to be an expert, but I have spent nearly a third of my life trying to find ways to enjoy every day despite depression. These are just some of the things that have worked for me in the past, and I hope you will also find them helpful. No matter what, though, you're awesome. Don't let depression convince you otherwise.
