Depression

It sometimes feels as if a Cheshire cat’s

Chelsea smile is sardonically sliced inside my mind

It makes my eyes constantly feel watched from behind

as if some sinister phantasm is just out of sight

scanning my ever misstep so that it can be

exaggerated and exploited until an explosion

of self doubting thoughts circle through my skull

Calling me compelling me toward the calming icy coolness of

sharpened steel that seems to be magnetised to my sleeve

and I being too weak to resist give in to

the razor’s umbilical sting as it slowing & surgically

removes my soul’s imperfections from my skin in straight lines

The sensation of the slits and watching smile isn’t all that bad though

since the lacerations and uneasiness feels like something other than numb