Recently, SNL released a video entitled, "Unity Song." It was a comedic power ballad about rallying American's together through things we all despise, like the airplane pilot interrupting your movie or unnecessarily loud people at the gym. As funny as this concept is to think about, it has some validity to it.
The U.S. is undoubtedly in a time of great division. It seems as though no party or people group can agree on anything. All these stories in the media of protests, political violence, and hatred for others can make the world seem like a pretty bleak place. What's important to remember is that we as Americans often share very similar life experiences. Rich or poor, black or white, male or female, there are just some things that literally no one enjoys.
1. Going back to the store to get something you forgot the first time
You knew you missed something, but of course, you didn't remember it until you were already five steps into the recipe.
2. Getting compared to someone you think is unattractive
You pray to God you don't actually look anything like that person...
3. The mini heart attack you have when you miss a stair
Tripping down the stairs is bad enough, but tripping up the stairs is a whole different ballgame. If you're wearing heels, socks, or a maxi dress, just go ahead and accept this as your fate.
4. Slamming your finger
There is no immediate pain like nearly losing an appendage to a door, drawer, or anything else that closes.
5. Getting thrown up on
Whether this is from your baby cousin at the family reunion, or a drunk guy at the bar you didn't want to go to in the first place, the experience is universally abhorrent.
6. Crying children at formal events
We get it. Kids don't have the vocabulary to express their thoughts and feelings. But still, what possessed that mom to bring her 6-month-old to an 8 p.m. showing of "The Crucible?!"
7. Preteens that dress like they're 21
If you don't know how to drive, write a check, or properly regulate your emotions, you shouldn't be wearing that much eyeliner.
8. Adults that dress like they're 21
To each his own, but I could've done without the visual of you, a grown woman, in pleather pants and a leopard-print tube top.
9. Getting a shot
Anyone who says needles don't hurt is lying to themselves and to you. Period.
10. The moment between dropping your phone and picking it up
"Is the screen cracked?? Will it even turn on?? Will I have to use my tax returns to buy a new one?? WILL THINGS EVER BE OKAY AGAIN?!"
11. The spinning wheel of death
I can guarantee that this GIF is bothering everyone reading this right now. Some of you have been idiotically staring at your screen waiting for something else to pop up. See, it's the small things that make us part of one human race. <3
12. Receiving a text so abbreviated that it's no longer readable
These messages usually come from one of two people: your 12 year old cousin who just got her first cellphone or your mom who thinks text slang from 2012 is still relevant.
13. Jet lag
I have the urge to eat dinner at 8 a.m. and go to bed at 2 p.m. I can't think straight. Caffeine is useless at this point. Someon please get me an Aspirin and some toothpicks to hold my eyes open.
Hopefully, Americans everywhere can remember these god-awful things when they run out of empathy for those they don't agree with. Maybe your co-worker denying the wage gap's existence drives you up the wall, but he hates doing his taxes just as much as you do. Everyone is worthy of love in their life because it's the only thing that gets us through all the crappy things on this list.
