I’m telling you this for two reasons.
The first being, if you know someone who may be struggling with depression, you must realize that depression is a full time job. When they say they don’t have time to do something with you. Or they feel like they are so stressed out, when you think they have little or nothing to be stressed about. It’s because they are. Any full time job is stressful, especially if you hate it and you think it’s ruining your life. Depression is doing that to them, all the time. Whether they are maintaining and managing it, or not, it takes up your time and your energy.
The second reason being, if you are struggling with or have struggled with depression in the past, depression is a full time job. It’s okay to feel overwhelmed even though people around you seem to be doing more. It’s okay to treat yourself, simply because you got out of bed, and that made you feel good. It’s okay to be proud of yourself for the small accomplishments that you make. You’re allowed to acknowledge that depression can be all consuming, as long as you are taking small steps to consume yourself with small joys.
This should be motivation to anyone who struggles with depression on a daily basis. This should be encouraging to anyone who has struggled with depression in the past. Partially to give yourself lenience. You must be patient with yourself. You and your happiness are worth being patient for. Understand that there is something going on inside you that you can’t completely change or control, and you will have to deal with it. But that’s okay and that’s empowering. There is so much you can do with that, and it gives you so much room to grow. But also, if you aren’t dealing with it, it can only get better. But first, you need to try.
You don’t need to be strong. You don’t need to be resilient. But you do need to try.
I wrote a short letter to my depression a few months ago:
“Sometimes I think the hardest part about dealing with you is looking in the mirror and knowing I can't trust myself.
I can’t trust myself to be reasonable, because you mess with my reason.
I can’t trust myself to be honest, because you mess with my honesty.
I can’t trust myself to be understood, because you mess with how people understand me and how I understand myself.
However, the greatest thing I ever learned about you is that even though you are a part of me, you are not all of me. And separating that is the most important thing I can do.”
You are not your depression. Your depression is not you. Just as someone’s job is not who they are and a human is not only what they do, or how they make a living. Depression is a full time job, but it is not your entire world. And that is something to be excited about. You can quit a job. You can get promoted. You have the freedom to move forward. Although you can’t just quit depression like you can quit a job, as much as we all wish we could, you can make a choice to take steps and change. Change can be slow, but it will be sure and it will make a difference. I can promise you that.
If you know someone struggling with depression, depression can consume them. But it does not define them. Depression is not who they are. They are a human soul who needs loving and encouragement just like everyone else. Regardless of what we are going through, we all need support. We just need to learn to love each other better.
